Vacation

Hi - I'm not nearby a computer for a few days, so fellow blogger Tim from Life, Explained has kindly volunteered to do a piece.  Tim's great and a very funny blogger, he's well worth checking out.

Take it away, Tim!
Hello.  Mike Raven is on vacation this week, and will not be able to return your calls.   Actually, I don’t know how long he is on vacation for, and whether he has a phone or not.  He seems to have some technical prowess, and sounds very bright, so he probably has some sort of communication device, but that is not what I am here to talk about.  I am here to discuss vacations (like Mike’s) and the best ways to get through them undamaged, sort of.
First there is the matter of diet.  It is too easy to overindulge while traveling.  Since you don’t have to clean up afterwards, or do dishes it is tempting to have three or four things at once.  “Give me a burger, a hot dog, a bratwurst, and pancakes, with a milk shake.”  That does sound good, but it will lead to an expanding waist line, and clothing budget, and unbearable ridicule from co-workers, friends, loved ones, and the people at the clothing store, smug, arrogant, thin philistines that they are.
A good way to counter this is to order a salad.  Green, leafy vegetables help keep the weight off, lower serum cholesterol, and help control hypertension.   Your rule of thumb should be one meal every day consists of a salad.  Following the one salad a day rule leaves you free to be a little more liberal with your other meal choices, steak, baked potato with extra sour cream and real butter, fried shrimp, and hot rolls fresh from the oven, steaming piles of noodles with melted cheese, and garlic butter, what an appetizer, I can’t wait for dinner, and dessert, oh man, could I tell you about desserts.
If you are a vacation veteran it is ok to call anything with lettuce a salad, a bacon cheeseburger, a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich (lettuce and tomato that almost counts for two salads) a club sandwich, all of these are similar to the fountain of youth on bread.   You are getting younger by the minute.
With a little discipline there is no reason a smart person can’t come back from vacation healthier than when it began.  It just takes a plan and some will power.
In a spontaneous act of kindness and sympathy Mike has agreed to let me write a guest post for his blog.  The readers of my blog are so very grateful.  A little vacation for them as well, I hope they are enjoying the time off and eating wisely.