To say it's been an interesting year would be an understatement. Many of you have been along with me on the many ups and downs of this year and I am so grateful for that.
I don't quite know how to feel about this year yet, because I'm still processing many things. In many respects, it was a good year. In others, not so much.
Work was, for the most part, uneventful as, for the first time in several years, I worked only one job for the entire year. I am so excited that I will only have one W-2 for my taxes this year, considering last year I had four.
In some ways, this could be called the "year of Office Boy." As we hung out for the first time outside of the office on January 2 and, for the time being, our relationship is completely cut off as of December 28. So effectively, I spent the first nine months of the year knowing and falling in love with an amazing man. And I have spent the last three months of this year processing and coping with the (rather sudden) loss of him in my life.
In moments like this, when bad things happen right around the end of the year, it's easy to say, "This year sucked." I can't necessarily say that is the case because, really, until October, this year didn't suck. Until October, this year was wonderful. And even after October 7, good things happened. I started writing again and I got cast in a show. Those are both big and good things that happened after Office Boy and I broke up. But that shadow of pain does make it difficult to see the good that has happened over the last twelve months, particularly when all of social media is abuzz with "how amazing this year has been" posts. And those are plentiful when the number of people you know who got engaged, married, or pregnant is in the multiple dozens.
I don't know what 2013 has in store for me. I certainly have my hopes. I have my hopes regarding work. I have my hopes regarding writing. I have my hopes regarding relationships. I have questions and fears and trepidations going into this new year.
I am having to remind myself, very definitively, each every day to just take it day by day and trust that God has a plan in store. Just as at this time last I couldn't have predicted that my relationship with Office Boy would turn into what it became and dominate much of my year, I don't know what could blossom and dominate much of my year in the next few weeks.
I do have goals for this upcoming year. Some of them are based on health. Some of them are focused on my writing. But more than anything, it is my prayer that when I look back on 2013, regardless of what else has happened in my life, I will be able to say that I loved the Lord with all that is in me, that I sought His glory in everything I did, and that I am closer to Him and more sanctified than I was twelve months prior.
I don't quite feel like I can say that about my life in 2012. I don't really regret anything I did in 2012, but I do so wish that I had lived more of it trusting in God's sovereignty and His plan. That is my prayer for myself in 2013, and it is my prayer for you, too. That you would not worry about the days ahead, because you know that God holds you in the palm of His hand.
Have a wonderful New Year celebration, friends. See you in 2013.
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