Yesterday I had the absolute honor of watching my little cousin get married to an incredible guy who makes her shine like no one else can.
While I shed a few tears, I spent most of the time smiling and laughing.
However, then came the reception.
I have been to a few weddings in my time, and while I admit I am great entertainment, I was THAT token drunk relative at the wedding yesterday.
Here’s just a few things I did:
- fed a minor much too much alcohol
- made a drunk speech that involved racism about the groom and his family
- made out with a groomsman … He had a beard ok ? I couldn’t resist !
- spilt a bit of my red wine on the dance floor and exclaimed “oh there’s my abortion” …
- continued to show people my abortion on the dance floor
- hit on the cute bartender then insulted him by putting down his choice of career
- fed more alcohol to a minor
- spent an hour in the bathroom crying on the phone to my best friend
- twerked
- got in a taxi and promptly passed out on my drunk little underage sisters lap
All in all apparently it was a good night …
