Today was my first day back at work after having just over a year off and my gosh it was a day that I had dreaded since before I had even had Ethan - it's the day that most mothers dread.
But if I'm honest, it wasn't so bad.
I mean yeah I cried like an absolute baby when we dropped Ethan off at his Grandmas last night, I cried... and cried... and cried.. until I fell asleep in fact.
But when I woke this morning I felt strong, I felt strong for me, for Ethan, for my Husband, for our future.
The day had come, it was happening.. regardless of anything. It was time to get up, dust off my uniform and find my inner strength and that's exactly what I did.
And well... it was just fine.. In fact I enjoyed the break, I came home feeling recharged and refreshed. I didn't care about the dirty litter that the cats had spread all across the floor I didn't mind making a huge mess at dinner. I was back with my family, the only thing that actually matters. Being away from the house was good for me, I stopped obsessing about it. I realised I'm not the only one responsible for everything. I realised that the house and Ethan are not just my responsibility, that my fear of feeling not in control is actually silly and unhealthy, being not in control is sometimes a good thing. It allows us to recharge and let someone else take charge for once. We are of course, only human.
Back together again, after work. His smile was the biggest its ever been when he saw me.
Wearing uniform for the first time in a loooongg time this morning!