In the 12 years I’ve been keeping this blog alive by daily publishings, sporadic postings and avoiding death by keeping it in a literary induced coma for a few years, I have never posted ANYTHING as weird or aberrant as the post that you’re about to read.
I was bored today and lazy, purposefully doing nothing, resting up for a good reason. I’m taking my mother back to our hometown for a day trip tomorrow because well, life just isn’t difficult enough. In the process of resting up for this endeavor, I made a mistake or was it the biggest, bestest…..
moment of my life??????? You tell me.
For starters, I’ve had a lot of boy and gentlemen friends. Nothing recently, but when I was younger, thinner, cuter, and dumber I dated a lot. Consequently, I used to take break ups very personally. I had my reasons. I was left more than I left (relationships are no longer my forte. It’s a truth I have to face). Trust me it’s a smidge painful, but it’s a good thing. Until I learn to love appropriately, I will refrain. And not only that, I have the horrible reputation of being with men who marry the women they leave me for. This has happened four times since 1979. I’ve had many conversations with shrinks about this. They blamed me; they said I fell too quickly. That I didn’t think things through, I was too hasty. Desperate. They say I judged the book by its cover. Honestly, had any of them seen my library of lost loves, they’d retract those statements.
Quickly.
The God’s honest truth is as follows: I’ve only been in love twice. I mean, real gut tingling, mind blowing IN LOVE with a male member of the species twice and both fallings happened before I turned 17. The first one was text book Jr. High, I adored him, but he left me for the stupidest reason in the galaxy. The second love of my life was the only man I allowed in my life twice. We were young adults the second time around and yes, he ultimately married the woman he left me for. He was the third one to hammer home my lack being of marriage material.
So, for years I had no choice but to believe I was marriage primer. Wanna get married? Date me. It’s all but guaranteed you’ll meet the woman of your dreams, courtesy of the one that obviously gives you night terrors.
But during today’s pre-maternal odyssey rest up at home, I took iPad in hand and started up looking up old colleagues, friends, people I dated and the women who divorced them and you cannot imagine the little tidbit of news I learned about one of my exes. I guess the news I learned is so bad, that I was almost happy I wasn’t the one that completely screwed up several lives.
Okay, here goes:. this man I was terribly in love a very long time ago has either completely lost his mind or is coming off one extremely gnarly week long meth/tweek session because he was arrested for sexually harassing and apparently sexually assaulting and making lewd comments and gestures to an employee of the same gender in broad daylight in the parking lot of a very, very public entity in a large city.
He was also very publicly arrested and this arrest made news because he has a job that could be construed as “iffy” considering the charges.
He wasn’t Epsteined (I assure you that is ONLY because both parents are dead) but he became very familiar with a similar jail cell which both called home for some time this past year.
My only reaction was a head shake and a laugh, because he was such a self-centered and arrogant bastard. He defined the $30k a year millionaire. A pathetic specimen of human, really. He desperately wanted to be a success and look the part even if that meant going into hock to achieve the facade. Well, I suppose he got what he wanted because as failures go, he’s now considered an absolutely brilliant over achiever.
We haven’t spoken or communicated in forever so perhaps at some point he had a significant sexual change of heart. To be honest, I never had an inkling he might be a sexual amoeba, but it really doesn’t matter because he was far removed from my life well before I read the six articles and watched the two TV news packages about his arrest and prison release. Twice.
If he’s gay, great! Be happy being your true authentic self, but to verbally, and sexually/physically assault a stranger in a parking lot at noon????? How dare you!!!! Seriously. How dare he even think he could get away with that? In this #metoo environment, which has NEVER been just about women, his audacity is appalling.
I simply can’t conjure any sympathy for him. I’ve even tried. Can’t. When Stupidity and arrogance are combined, the by-product galls me. So, thank God he married other fools and they foolishly married him.
Lastly, I watch a lot of Live PD on A&E. There are several shows which are variations on a theme each weeknight, including live police body cams, dash cams and chopper cams. I cheer on the cops because not only must they deal with the criminal element, they must deal with the dumb and mentally defective. I love watching K-9 take downs because if you’re going to do be stupid enough to commit a crime, then you deserve the permanent scars from the very sharp teeth of a German Shepherd who’s terribly pissed off simply because his handler commands him to be.
I feel the same way about this ex of mine. He needs help for assault. I hope he gets it because without it, he’s a menace to mankind. A predator with whom I’m ashamed of ever having been involved. I feel no remorse or pity for him. And if I ever see him again….even 20-years from now, I won’t call him by his name, but rather I’ll be the bitch he frequently accused me of being and refer to him as he was known most of this year: Texas Department of Corrections Inmate #75647949.
Idiot.
