But it didn't.. not when we we're that age anyway.
We felt so grown up - I'd say we felt, 'mature' for our age. I think we've always felt that way.
We still do.
We're 25 now. 25 and half actually. And when it's written down like that it seems such a long time. I suddenly start remembering things that I don't usually think about. I think about the small things that are, I suppose, quite irrelevant but completely relevant at the same time; like eating ice cream out of a cone from the ice cream van, in Adams bedroom on a really hot day.
Why that comes to mind, I don't know. I don't even know if Adam has any recollection of that one tiny moment of time in the somewhat long history of our relationship. But it's special, so special to me that a smile wipes itself across my face when I think about it. And I don't really understand why.
When I look back, like I am right now. There's always one feeling that stands out the absolute most; the feeling of contentment. How lucky I was to spend those years with the person who later became my Husband, the father of my child, the person I run to when the sh*t hits the fan, the person I run to when the day couldn't have gone any better. Basically the person who is literally the other half of who I am.
Those young years aren't the easiest, every single adult now knows that. A teen growing up in a world that they don't really understand. They think they do, gosh, do they think they know. But they don't. And I didn't.
I was naive. Thinking that everyone was genuinely a nice person. When the reality is, that not every one is. There's a lot of bad eggs out there, (as well as a lot of good). But a young me didn't quite understand this as much as I should have.
I wanted a yellow convertible as a car, I wanted a tattoo across my neck (I mean, what?! Seriously Alex?!). I was absolutely going to be a famous actress and would spend hours scribbling down my 'autograph' much to the annoyance of my Mum who I'd blame for not putting me in some sort of magical 'acting school'.
But that was the thing. It was a hard time, finding out who I was. All whilst the exact same was happening to Adam. He was changing, learning. I was changing, learning. We changed so much. From a teen to an adult. Naturally, we changed. Of course we did.
It's almost like when we look back we can't quite believe the things we wanted, the things we thought. I bet everyone that reads this can relate. Because we do, we all change. It's also known as 'growing up'.
We change, mostly, for the better. As adults we take a sigh of relief at not getting that tattoo we so badly wanted in our younger years, or parting with a big wad of cash in exchange for a bright yellow convertible. We laugh at the things we thought we knew and thought we wanted. Because in reality we don't feel that way anymore. Well, I certainly don't.
The thing with childhood sweethearts that go on to marry each other, like Adam and I did, is that whilst everything develops and changes around them, nothing really changes at all.
The feelings I had for Adam at the tender age of 14, are still the same. The exact same. There are extra feelings there now, of course; the feelings I feel for him as Husband, the feelings I feel for him as a Dad to Ethan.
But the 'he's-my-true-love' feelings that I felt from the very beginning are still here. I still look at him the very same way I did when I first ever saw him. I still well up every time I say goodbye to him. I still want to share every part of my lunch with him. I still want to do every single thing I can with him. I still love him as deeply as I did when I was a silly naive fourteen year old, that apparently wasn't so naive after all.
The answer to what being married to my childhood sweetheart feels like, is...
A sort of magic that as an adult you wouldn't really believe could exist.
-Our love story-
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