“Nah! the Lady...”
“It’s the Guy...something ...I forget!!! I know, I’ve seen this face. Yeah! I got it!! It’s Bob Geldof. No, wait. I guess it’s Prince. No! God! Who is it?”
“Ok you won’t get this one. Let me help you. It’s Lady Gaga.”
“No. I don’t believe this!!!”
Lady Gaga in her male avatar
Well it is Lady Gaga sporting thick side locks, smoking away at the Edge of Glory. So after all the raw meat dresses, telephones on head and horns on face, our Lady of the Poker Face has got the world officially confused this time. She has posed as her male alter ego Jo Caldron on the cover of her latest album You and I. So the world’s wondering if she’s a female or male.
Check out the telephone headgear
Now I say it’s just hype. A celeb gossip site, Bump Shack had reported way back in 2009 about her hermaphrodite status. Then what’s with all the hoopla I don’t understand. We have better things to get confused about. Like I’m confused about whether Fair & Lovely really makes people fair and lovely. From what I’m told, Kajol never used it. So that leaves me confused about her fairness without Fair & Lovely. Never mind. That’s fair enough. No woman reveals the secret of her beauty and appeal.But some women aren’t coy about sharing these secrets. Like the Pak’s foreign minister Hina Rabbani Khar’s secret was her blue dupatta, the huge Hermes Birkin bag, Robert Cavalli shades and much more. Yet she left us confused. We still wonder whether she was here to talk peace or to walk the ramp. And to top it all she went back confused about the identity of our reporters. She thought they were the paparazzi while they all reported pure politics. She should have known that the paparazzi in India were busy elsewhere that time around.
Our very own Lady of the Three Hundred Pieces aka Maria Susairaj and her convicted fiance kept them busy. The lady herself had been set free to fly the blue skies. Earlier they had thought that she had a hand in the murder of her lover. Later by “God’s timely grace” they discovered she was a woman and never could have the heart to chop her lover’s body in to 300 pieces and the murderer was actually her fiancé.
The latter is now in jail and busy. No he’s not busy making bird sounds. But he’s occupied with dispatching legal notices to film director Ram Gopal Verma who made a movie based on this real life murder story. The movie is called ‘Not a Love Story’. And this has confused me if RGV is sick or sadomasochist. Confusion all over!
I believe I should end this here because like yawning, confusion is also contagious. Don’t believe me? Wait a while they’ll prove this too like the researchers in the UK and Norway recently proved that of all the things teenage pregnancy is contagious. Idea 3G, are you listening? It’s time to go global and make a mark like Lakshmi Menon did with her nude shots for designer Karl Lagerfeld’s Pirelli 2011 calendar. She did it so that “she could look back with pride when she’s 60.” Well, different people have different ways of preparing for old age.
I guess you should also get down to some twilight planning while I find out who made the mind bug (read f*#k) TVS Wego commercials.
