Self Expression Magazine

What Should Be Understood In Relationships Part 1: Marathon Without a Race

Posted on the 09 April 2012 by Kaythie @kathgail

He said,


For most people it seems to be so unbelievable! A total joke! A myth or a freak of nature.

But friends, believe it or not, we have been together – in a relationship – if there was Facebook 10 years ago.

Now the next big question how did we do it?

The “how” also came about not just after 2 years, nor 5 or 8 years, but also a decade.

Relationships didn’t come with a manual. And the academic me – structured and systematized – was having quite a difficult time understanding everything. What to do, how to do it, why such happens, and why not. Especially with women – understanding them is like being a 3 year old learning quantum physics by himself.

Generally, my main expectation before was simply that everything will go well in 5 years. (I’m sure you already know about the 5 year myth?) Going well meaning, you understand each other, less fights, and everything is just on the roll. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

There was still a lot of work to do! As in a lot!

Looking at memory lane, I realized this one truth. It’s a loooooooooooooooooong process.

People often tend to look at relationships as sprints. In their very first year they pump out everything they have – which is good – but bad if it dies down after that. Relationships are not like projects, start with objectives then finish in a few months. No, they are long – not sprints but marathons.

Relationships are marathons.

Long endurance marathon.

When I finally accepted this fact, that I will never get the ideal smooth relationship in just 5 years, I became more at ease.

So when we fail or stumble – we stand up – we still have a long way to go.

When things don’t go as we expected or go as we would have wanted – we stand still – we still have a long way to go.

Like marathons, it needs consistency, and of course, it needs to be enjoyed. Enjoyed every step of the way – we still have a long way to go.”

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