He said,
“10 YEARS? HOW DID YOU DO IT?
For most people it seems to be so unbelievable! A total joke! A myth or a freak of nature.
But friends, believe it or not, we have been together – in a relationship – if there was Facebook 10 years ago.
Now the next big question how did we do it?
The “how” also came about not just after 2 years, nor 5 or 8 years, but also a decade.
Relationships didn’t come with a manual. And the academic me – structured and systematized – was having quite a difficult time understanding everything. What to do, how to do it, why such happens, and why not. Especially with women – understanding them is like being a 3 year old learning quantum physics by himself.
Generally, my main expectation before was simply that everything will go well in 5 years. (I’m sure you already know about the 5 year myth?) Going well meaning, you understand each other, less fights, and everything is just on the roll. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
There was still a lot of work to do! As in a lot!
Looking at memory lane, I realized this one truth. It’s a loooooooooooooooooong process.
People often tend to look at relationships as sprints. In their very first year they pump out everything they have – which is good – but bad if it dies down after that. Relationships are not like projects, start with objectives then finish in a few months. No, they are long – not sprints but marathons.
Relationships are marathons.
Long endurance marathon.
When I finally accepted this fact, that I will never get the ideal smooth relationship in just 5 years, I became more at ease.
So when we fail or stumble – we stand up – we still have a long way to go.
When things don’t go as we expected or go as we would have wanted – we stand still – we still have a long way to go.
Like marathons, it needs consistency, and of course, it needs to be enjoyed. Enjoyed every step of the way – we still have a long way to go.”
