What you think about, you bring about ?!!
OK, then I am thinking about George Clooney.
Bring him on.
Jokes.
He is even better.
I would have said Channing Tatum, but he is like 12 years old compared to my age. I just turned 24 for the second time.
Visuals like that do make my grin hit my ears though. Dream. Dream big.
I am also thinking about island living. How about you?
Why?
Because holy moly it’s freakin’ cold outside. Are you frozen ? It is teeth chattering time of year. You know the season. The season where your fingers feel like frozen fish sticks.
I am not posting any photos of snow in this blog post. Why ? Because cold weather is where fun goes to die.
Blah.
Blah.
Blah.
Snow can kiss my butt. Big time.
This is the time of year that we all need a little-pick-me-up, a cheer-me-up….a something-or-other-is up….. or someone is likely to be getting a smack down. They might even get the look. You know the look. The look where you try to smile, but the skin on your face cracks off.
Welcome to Winter.
If I saw a snowman right now, I would flat out deck him, right on his stupid carrot faced nose. I would knock his rollie pollie fat head right off his plump shoulders. I might even be bold enough to jump right on his fat snowman head. Maybe kick him in the crotch. I am sick, right? Who beats up a snowman ??!!
I need a holiday. I want one. NOW. Aaaaaand I want it to come with a cabana boy. A hawt cabana boy. With some loin cloth on or something. I don’t even care if he is wearing anything.
Naked is fine.
Jokes. Serious.
I’m just kidding. Not really. Seriously.
My HEAD was so all in to that visual. How about you ? Yup, you need some winter cheering up too. Welcome to my shit faced snow world.
Guess what? Our heads are about to escape that snowy world.
We all need to get hit up with some sunshine love. A little grin never hurt anyone. A wee escape is good for the soul.
Winter. Blah. Cold. Yuck. Gross.
Some people like snow. Some people love it. Riddle me that. I don’t do snow well. I get all sorts of uncomfortable just thinking about snow. Snow can just suck it. Unless it is Christmas eve. Then fine. Snow is acceptable on that day. That’s it. That’s all. Game over. Get outta here after that. Scoot. Skedaddle. Kiss off.
Grand entrance :
WATER.
5 Reasons why WATER solves everything :
1.
Need a break from it all ? Just think about the ocean and your mind will go to a beautiful place. I realize that imagining yourself going on a holiday may seem like a caaahrazy thought right now. It is sort of like imagining yourself kinda pregnant.
Don’t feel bad. I can imagine myself living on an island. For …say…. forever. Who’s crazy now?
I get so excited thinking about island living that I almost pass out. Well, at least I start chewing my gum really fast and I rock back and forth on my feet. Like a happy idiot.
Maybe that is my version of a potty dance (??)
Same same. But different.
Oh, and btw’s, I want a sports car to boot around on that island. Add to that …. a super cute Vespa. A Vespa with sexy chocolate brown leather vintage seats & a sexy knock-your-socks-off kind of color. Don’t forget the Vespa baskets. I want those too. Preferably stuffed to the brim with fresh fruit, a baguette, and french wine. Oh, and the hair? I want my hair wrapped in some sort of gorgeousness so it doesn’t look like the usual rats nest hair ball.
My typical hair-do
Do you want to know what wise people say ??!!
Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
I need to repeat that.
Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
I don’t know about you, but I am not taking any chances, and I am putting it out there.
While you’re at it, universe, I would also like a cabana boy & full time housekeeper for my beach hut.
There. The cat is outta the bag.
What’s your message to the universe ?
Write it down. Get it out there. Say it to yourself, over and over again.
~ AND ~
Share it with sugar bear.
I wanna know.
I wanna know.
I can’t be a dreamer all alone.
It is EPIC to dream. Give it a try.
We all want to have our cake and we all want to eat it too.
Nothing wrong with that, my friends.
Everything is RIGHT about that.
What you think about, you bring about.
Slow down life. Breathe it all in.
Are you in for dreaming up a slice of awesomeness ?
Get your visualization on.
STAT.
You won’t believe how much fun you can have in your head.
I'm sick of following my dreams.
I'm just going to ask where they are going, and follow them.
Let’s play the game of : what could go wrong ?
Nothing.
Nothing could go wrong.
And if something does go wrong…. just ask the cabana boy to rub a little more oil on your back.
You’ll be fine.
Just fine.
You should be getting your smile on in your head right about now. If not, stop. Stop right now.
Imagine this : Can you smell the coconut oil? Can you hear the ocean? Can you smell the salt air ? Can you feel the breeze on your face ?
Ahhhh…..
2.
Still feeling stressed ? Have you ever found yourself in hot water ? Oh hells ya. Want to know how to get out of hot water? Get into hot water.
Take a beautifully hot bubble bath. Light a candle. Ignore the world. Everything that went wrong, will suddenly feel right again. If not, well at least you will be clean and you may smell good too. BONUS.
Do you have ‘bubbles for your bath’ in your house? It eludes me every~single~time. Like the other sock.
Solution : Just pour shampoo in the streaming water. It makes epic bubbles. The kind of bubbles that wrap right around your face and billow up over your ears. Now that’s a bubble bath. For reals. A legit bubble bath = epic bubbles.
***
3.
Hungover ? Drink water. I personally would never drink enough liquor to get hungover. LIE. I personally hate drinking water. TRUTH
Throw some lemons in cold water and now your talking water-gasms. Try it. I know what you are thinking. Lynne is a biatch. That rat face is trying to make me drink water. I thought she loved cupcakes ? And wine ? OK….OK….I do….I do. I balance that bad-ass stuff with water. So you can only hate me just a bit. Back to visualizing the ocean. Stop hating on my bad-ass. We need to think sun, fun and sand. Here we go…..
Note : cold drink ….YES !!
4.
Want to have your skin, nails & hair feeling hydrated and healthy ? Sip that water missy. Or mister. You should care too. Men who are nicely groomed are HAWT. Pay attention, men…that makes women WILD.
If you smell good …. well…. some woman is going to tap your quesadilla. Foooshur.
You’re welcome.
5.
Kids having a freak out ? Put them in water. It works every time. Sorry, I got talking about kids right after all that sex and beach talk. My bad. There must have been something weird in my water. I drank it and got pregnant. Four times. Whatttup wit dat? *swinging head back and forth looking all innocent.*
Yes, I have FOUR kids. They are all awesome, but that could change on a moments notice.
When it does…. In the bath they go …..
Water solves everything.
Told ya.
PS. I couldn’t resist sharing a water video/clip with you. I don’t know jack about YouTube but I am sure as hell gonna give it a try. I’m a YouTube virgin. Someone needs to teach me how to upload videos to YouTube so they look as fantastic as they did in iPhoto and iMovie. I need a YouTube Yoda. Help !
YouTube and videos scare the bejesus outta me. It is perplexing, non? I need lessons in YouTube-ism. Lesson #1 : How is it that a perfectly clear video becomes all fuzzy and shaky when I upload it to YouTube ?!! Jeepers Creepers. Complicated.
Until I solve that problem, come get jiggy with this water video of our dog and our daughter. It’s a water goober dance with our Great Pyrenees dog, OLIVER. Do you know what is great about dog spit ? Neither do I. Dog goober and I just don’t live in the same zip code.
Are you up for a wee laugh and a little grossness too ? Wait, you might want to cover your eyes for this one…. Just listening to the video clip is good enough. And gross. All at once. Here you go :
Watching that video clip made me laugh so hard… I suddenly feel happier than a witch in a broom factory.
Sorry (in advance) if you want to throw up in your mouth right now, after looking at all that goober. LOL.
Are you new to the blog ? I suppose I shouldn’t ask that now that I made you throw up in your mouth. ha ! Subscribe to the blog to receive new blog posts directly in your email in box: Click here to receive blog posts directly in your email inbox. It is super easy and super convenient. { You can unsubscribe with the click of a button too }. No worries.
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It is that easy.
Easy as pie. Or dog spit.
Same, same.
But different.
xx