When Did I Change?

 I wish I could air all my fears. Unravel its fabric thread by thread, so that the web that my feet lay enmeshed in, fell off like pearls of a broken necklace. Walking in the beautiful world of dreams, I never saw the trap that expectations had laid for me? Who ever knew that I would be caught in its twisted darkness? Once upon a time, I would have unburdened all my fears to you. Rushed to be by your side for, where else dwelled a better place? But a distance sprung up. A distance  between us; you and me. I shut my eyes and discovered a landscape of my own. The song of that land heard only to me, the water and fruits of that region savored by just me. The stars that shone above that land, twinkled alone in my eyes. A country of my own where I allowed you to glimpse picture-postcard like images, thinking you will self invite. Again, I expected and threw it in bin, a tissue with mascara and a question, "When did I change?"
Life is not fair they consoled. "I don't believe it", clamored a voice from my throat. "I am a fighter and will be in the ring till my last blood". Yet, here I lie, in a dingy room of self pity and loath where fungus grows and rules termites. Gaping at the sky I asked, "is this anger or, disgust. Boredom or, am I really tired?", but all the sun did was pierce my eyes making me covet for shade.