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It's easy to have faith in things when life is easy and everything seems to be working out - but what happens when faith is literally the only thing you have to hold on to?I grew up in a house that taught me about faith in a God I could not "see". Over the years I have gone through various hard life experiences, and while difficult in the midst of the trials, looking back I could ALWAYS see what God had been doing at that time. I believe in a God I cannot "see" with my physical eyes, but I have seen Him work His blessings through my life time and time again.
Last Friday was Ryan's last day in the Army. Since he saved up a month of leave he is technically employed until the last day of November, but at this point, he does not have a job lined up outside of the military. For those of you who aren't familiar with how things work when getting out of the Army as an officer: you have to give them a six months notice. This isn't like a typical job where you can look for a new career opportunity and then notify your manager that you are quitting in two weeks. You cannot make this decision lightly. We were aware of the potential risks and weighed out the pros and cons, but we knew our time in the military was coming to a close, and so this past May, Ryan dropped his packet to get out. Ryan has applied to hundreds of jobs over the past few months. At first, companies would tell him that they were looking to hire immediately, so they couldn't afford to wait until November for him to be available. This continued up until a little over a month ago and then he just started to never hear ANYTHING. Ryan is well educated, has a ton of valuable military experience, and is one of the most personable people I know - how has he not found a job yet?
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I know this is wearing on Ryan. He will always say the phrase, "If they would just talk to me! I know they would hire me!" I know exactly how he feels, as I remember saying the same thing years ago when I was trying to land a job after college. Nowadays, every company has you apply via the internet. You are extremely blessed if you ever make it through the sea of applicants and land any sort of an interview. It's very true that a lot of jobs are landed based on "who you know" - having a referral or a relationship with someone who already works within a company can make the hiring process so much easier. He has tried using every resource he has in order to secure a job, but at this point, nothing has panned out.If you asked me 6 months ago if I really thought we would be in this position, I would have said no. I knew it could happen, but I never thought it would. I am a planner, so being in a state of such uncertainty is one of the hardest things for me to cope with. We are 24 days away from having no source of income. Yes, we have a savings account, but we planned to use that money towards a down payment on a house. Even so, our savings isn't enough for us to live on for very long - a few months at most. It isn't until you actually get to this point where you start to realize how much you take for granted. I burst into tears one morning at the thought of not being able to celebrate the holidays with our families or even silly things like not buying a Christmas tree because it's not really a "necessity". Christmas is our family's favorite holiday and since Rilynn was just born, we were excited about celebrating the new addition to our family with our parents and siblings. I know some people will say "There are far bigger concerns for you than buying a Christmas tree"...and you are right - there are. I am worried about health insurance and groceries and paying our rent...but I am also sad about losing the little things in our life as well.
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I know both Ryan and I are filled with concern and stress over what is in store for us in the near future. I know these are normal, human reactions, and that is ok - but we are determined to not let those emotions overcome us. God is not a God of fear. He doesn't want us living every minute under distress, worrying about Ryan's job situation or where we will be 3 months down the road. I believe we are called to be responsible - to try everything in our power to secure a job for Ryan and to find a way to make ends meet until we do. But I also believe that as long as we aren't being lazy bumps on a log, God will find a way to provide for us. That is all we have to rely on at this point. No amount of job applying, worrying or tears is going to change God's will for our lives. He has a perfect plan, and although it is scary as hell to patiently wait on Him to show us what that is, I know He is faithful.I wanted to share this on the blog because I know there are thousands of families who are in a similar situation. Some of you may have been dealing with this season of life for months now. Our economy is at a low and so many families have had to adjust what they considered "normal" and find a way to be faithful with what they have at the moment. If any of you are at that place or have been in a similar situation in the past, I would love to hear from you below! One of the greatest things about the blogging community is the ways we can encourage each other and connect. We would love any prayers, as I truly believe that "where two or more are gathered" God is also present. I would also love to pray for any of you! We are making little changes in our life in order to be more responsible in planning for the future. I've started couponing again. Even though I hadn't planned to start cloth diapering until rilynn was three months old, she is now in cloth diapers every day. We avoid eating out and I try to cook at home whenever possible. I would love to hear any suggestions of ways you have found to save with your own family.
Above all else, regardless of what you or your family is going through right now - whether it be some sort of struggle or even a time of extreme success - never lose your faith. Faith is far easier to have when things are unbelievably positive, but I truly believe it's in the times of uncertainty or stress that God chooses to show himself the most.
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