Diaries Magazine

When Gluten Takes Over the World…

Posted on the 18 July 2013 by Redneckprincess @RdNeckPrincess

When Gluten takes over the world

A few days ago…I made a choice.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I have been reading up, doing my research and I have come to the conclusion that I need to exclude wheat and sugar from my diet. Again. I have tried this briefly before. I felt better, it was working and then…I lapsed. I don’t even actually know what happened. Sometimes I am a quitter or a forgetter. Whatever. Stop judging me.

I am starting over. No gluten, no sugar.

Now in theory this seems simple right?

No toast for breakfast. No sandwiches for lunch. No big fluffy full of butter french bread with dinner. No almost homemade butter tarts.

Did I mention that I fucking love bread?

I love it nearly as much as I loved smoking, but I knew what that was doing to my body and made a conscious and very grown up decision to stop inhaling 5000 chemicals into my lungs on a regular basis.

Bread or shall we just widen our horizons and say gluten, is less toxic than cigarettes, well mostly, but it still isn’t good for you.

It can cause joint pain. Bad attitudes. Congestion. Mood swings. Acne. Muffin tops. And numerous other things that are too depressing to list.

So today in my new found determination to make my self a healthier girl…I went grocery shopping.

I have never been so overwhelmed in my life. I never thought grocery shopping could give me a panic attack. Guess what? I was fucking wrong.

Normally I am a fairly avid label reader. I don’t eat MSG and try to avoid anything GMO, so I am somewhat aware of what I am ingesting.

But today I was stunned. There is so much food that contains gluten, your head will spin.

Like…EVERYTHING.

My original plan was this…eat real food. It makes the murk clear a little bit to just go back to basics.

The Diet Doctor has a good guideline for this low carb, high fat diet. It is easy to follow and makes pretty good sense.

Which is good, because I don’t do diets so to speak. I want to eat right but I won’t sacrifice enjoying my food.

So back to shopping. Ya. Brutal.

There is absolutely so much crap in our food it is terrifying. I am not really a packaged food shopper. I hate the taste of almost everything that is easy to make. So that isn’t a reach for me, but good luck finding anything to eat for breakfast that looks like cereal. Not happening. Good thing for my kale smoothie. It will just have to be enough, I am way to lazy to get up and make something as breakfastie as eggs.

Granola bars, like those Special K ones that I adore because they taste like pop tarts and are only 100 calories for two…nope. Not happening.

Sugar AND gluten.

I bought no gluten flour for $8.99. For a bag that will make me four no gluten cookies, and xanthan gum, apparently you need this to cook with gluten free flour. It was 13.99 for a wee fricken bag, it says on the bag it goes along way, it bloody well better.

As for the sugar, I have decided that the best course of action is to not make myself into a miserable bitch. I will still use it in small amounts. I use brown sugar for nearly all of my baking already and I am vehemently against every sugar substitute there is. And I need cookies.

Low sugar, no gluten cookies.

I have already found a recipe for double chocolate ones. I only have enough $8.99 flour to make four anyway.

And I just had the smallest bowl of ice cream I have ever eaten.

It helped a bit.

Learning to eat differently will take some effort, some trial and error, and there will possibly be some good blog fodder.

I mean all I have to lose is my bad attitude and this damn muffin top, right?

So how do you eat? Any suggestions or good advice would be 100% appreciated.

Peace out xoxo


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