First let me say this, I’m NO Debbie downer. I am the first person to encourage someone on their journey and tell them to” keep on keeping on” and to “keep it moving.” Recently something occurred to me. When is enough, enough??? I mean when do you say to yourself, I have done all I can do and know how to do and surrendered to what is? And is that enough? For example, I currently have the best Agent and Talent Manager team I’ve ever had since being in showbizness. I am currently auditioning for TV guest star and recurring guest star level roles, as well as auditioning for Feature and Independent Films. I am also having Network level meetings for my hosting work. My jewelry collection is slowly getting out there and selling. I get tons of compliments on my jewelry when I show at trunkshows, festivals and fairs. It has been the little engine that could. It all sounds great, and I’m not saying all of this to say “yay me”, but is it enough to sustain us until something bigger happens to go to the next level?
Yes I know I “chose” a career that is one of the hardest jobs in the world, heck all 3 of them are hard lol! Yes I voluntarily participated in the creation of all of this, and I take full responsibility in it. I really love what I do, and I feel all of these things “chose me.” It was indeed a calling from the spirit to do these things, and I have to do them to feel a sense of connection to the world. I also stand firmly in gratitude for everything that has come my way, good and bad.
I guess I was wondering this because recently I had a recurring TV guest star audition. There were several ladies there who are or were on TV shows as series regulars. One of them whose comedic work I was a big fan of. My personal opinion is that all of these ladies should be at “offer only level” and NOT have to actually audition for a scale (basic pay), but hey the powers that be see it differently. I also knew that no matter how awesome I was, I wasn’t getting that job. Think about it, why would you hire a “no name” person when you can get a “name or known person” for the same price? It just makes sense, and I should be okay with having an audition period ( I was ;-D) . Now sadly this is a common practice these days, auditioning along side known actors. The way the business has been going, it’s been pushing the unknown actor out of the picture, and now we have to work three times harder to book jobs.
Is it enough for me to having just “been in the room”? Also I thought about what happens when and If I get to that ‘known Level”. Will I have to settle for that too? Probably and I’ll be happy to just be working regularly just like I’m sure they are. Is it all enough to sustain us in the struggle, the fight? Will our ego survive “the enough” in the midst of the struggle knowing that it may never happen? I guess it’s going to have to be for now. For the time being I’m still in the game going full speed ahead but is enough, enough for you??
