Whenever I talk on the phone with certain people who still live on that faraway island where I was born, they have to ask me if the Scientist is taking good care of me. At first, I was happy to correct them with a response which I was hoping they would understand.
It was something so easy like this: his job isn’t to look after me. His job is to love me.
The Scientist is a well-educated, house-trained and very highly capable man. So am I. He can take care of himself and I of myself. We are equal.
We don’t take care of each other, we support and be there for one another. But they keep asking, with a bunch of other questions like
Do his parents like you?
Are you still happy?
He doesn’t hit you, does he?
Any other babies yet?
Are you working now? I heard you quit to go to university, what’s going on?
1 – Yes they do but they don’t have to. I married him, not them. It’s great that they like me and we get along. Peace means happiness. Plus, my son has them. They are his only grandparents here.
2 – Yes I’m happy. Life sucks at times, especially when looking for a new direction in my career. I’m not rich but I’m happy with what I’ve got. The most helpful thing is waiting before having another child. One autistic child is enough for now until we know that he is going to be alright.
3 – No he doesn’t hit me. I know over there many men beat their wives like monkeys. Many men do it here, too, you are right. But this man doesn’t hit me. You will hopefully one day start to believe me. He is not a monster.
4 – No we are not planning another pregnancy right this moment. I’ve been very afraid to fall pregnant. We have decided to wait and then talk about it when the Scientist finishes his PhD.
5 – I never quit work. Who told you that? Their wires are bent. I have no idea where people get their information but most said from a friend who has me as friend on ‘Facebook’. In 2010 I posted about going back to university after hours. I also posted that I’ll be working during the day. “How do you do it?” they asked. I announced a new job that same year. In 2012 I posted about completing my studies. In 2013 I posted my graduation photos. I never once said I quit working to study.
I know, I know. You’re thinking But they mean well, all they’re asking is normal stuff. People care about you, and want to make sure you’re well, are fed and plump. And that he hasn’t locked you in some dark tower or basement.
Yes, but all the time? Same question? Same answers? Broken records?
Ring, ring… shit! It’s happening again!
What do the same people ask all the time that are now pet peeves?