So, I'm participating in the 10 Week Challenge, hosted by Jess over at Operation Skinny Jeans. We have mini-challenges each week, in addition to whatever we're doing on our own (exercising, clean-eating, etc). This week's mini-challenge is finding our inspiration. Why am I doing this? What motivates me? Did I have any sort of "aha" moment?
First off, let me start by saying that, yes, I do have my motivation and my inspiration for this: my family. I want to be able to run around with my son, exercise with Darren, and overall, be a happier and healthier version of myself.
However....
I feel a little lost at the moment. I know that my motivation and inspiration for this is super important. Hell, those two boys are my everything. But, I feel like something is missing. I mean, I know it's great I'm doing this, but, in all honesty, I'm not giving it my all. I'm doing the clean-eating thing, somewhat, and I'm trying to be more active, kind-of. Because of the 'somewhat' and 'kind-of' mentality I have going on, I think I am cutting myself short. I'm not seeing the results I would like to. I'm not where I want to be. I feel like a disappointment to my boys, even though I know they'll love me regardless of what size I am.
Where can I find my own motivation? Doing this for them is one thing, but, doing it for myself is something completely different. Maybe I'm not looking deep enough....who knows.
You know, as I sit here, typing all of this out, alone with just my thoughts, it really hit me. I don't have to prove anything to anyone else. I just need to prove to myself that I can do it. I think I worry too much about what other people are doing, or what they may think of me. I compare myself to others, and I shouldn't. It's stupid....it really is. I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is, well, yourself...if that makes any sort of sense.
Well folks, I think I just had my "aha" moment. It doesn't matter how fast I lose the weight, or even how much I lose. As long as I am proud of myself, that's all that matters.
I think it's finally time to bust my ass....for me. :-) It's time for me to do what I KNOW I am capable of. It's time for me to start believing in myself. Enough of me just talking about it, it's time for me to f'ing do it!
Now, my friends, I am pumped. Whoop whoop!
