I think that I have clearly expressed my feelings on babies. I am no where near ready to pop out a baby. I have no idea when or IF that switch will ever flip in my head where I will want to be a mom, and when my motherly instinct will kick in, and remind me that babies aren’t just sleep stealing criers that exist to make me uncomfortable. Or are they? They worst feeling in the world to me is when I am holding a baby and it starts to cry, and just looks at me like I have destroyed it’s entire world. I barely dare to stand up while holding a baby, and I will pop up and run around trying to find a mom. Not even the baby’s mom, any mom that knows how to sooth. This whole blog post is inspired by a baby shower that I am going to this weekend. I have only been invited to a few baby showers, for unknown reasons. Mostly I have been to cousin’s showers where I tag along with my mom, yes I still tag along with my mom.
Now that my friends are starting to have babies, I have a feeling there will be more showers in my future. I need to express myself.
I am extremely happy for this couple that is having a baby shower this Saturday! It’s one of Jared’s closest friends. He has known Jared and I since the beginning, and has been a really big part of our life and their friendship. When he met his wife, we were so excited for them. They were married shortly after Jared and I. So we went through wedding planning at the same time, and our weddings were about a month apart. After we were married, we hung out as newly weds for a couple months. since then our lives have taken to very different paths. They have always wanted to be parents, and so they went ahead and accomplished that task. Check! This is the closest friend I have had that has had a baby. By that I meant, we see them quite a bit, do dinners, hang out, and have even vacationed together. Now they are moving on to being parents. I have been able to see how awesome of parents they will be. Since they day they found out she was pregnant, they both became parents to the unborn fetus. They already have her a set of golf clubs for daddy-daughter dates. She is going to be the most loved baby.
Now on with the baby shower drama.
They are having a baby shower this weekend. I am bad with baby showers. Straight up bad! The first thing that makes me nervous is that I never know what to get people for baby showers. I don’t have any type of babily instinct in me, and I worry that the things I pick out are really not cute at all. I think everything is cute when it’s tiny. Plus if I saw a stick on baby mustache, that would be the perfect gift in my mind. I start to think what if I go the practical route instead and get a baby appliance, but baby stuff is really expensive. For such small little things, they are pricey! I don’t have money coming out of my ears (or wallet). Then I think what about a mommy gift? I know that it’s a baby shower, but the mom is pushing the dang thing out, and she deserves a present. Something a little more tangible and materialistic than the gift of life. I don’t know many new mom’s, what do they like? What do they want from me?! All these issues boil down to the fact that I know nothing about babies, and nothing about pregnancy except for the horror stories I have read… and posted about. My first baby shower obstacle is overcoming the present. I need to find a gift that really speaks to the momma. Like Siri.
My next obstacle is going to the shower. I love parties and gatherings. I love being social. However something about baby showers (ALL THE BABY TALK) makes me extremely awkward. Maybe I need to read more mommy blogs, know any good ones? The only things I can ever think to talk about are the horrible things that happen to your body during the birthing process. Which no one wants to hear about. Then my ONLY mom relatable instinct kicks in, and I start to relate their precious newborn babies to my puppy. A lot of moms really don’t like that. Most moms, in fact. Then I separate myself from everyone and eat the cute baby themed cake pops.
Lastly, before I open my mouth people size me up. They think “she has birthing hips, a husband, a house with an extra room..” then they wonder why I haven’t filled my belly up with an itty bitty baby human bopper yet. Then I start getting the million bajillion trillion thousand hundred questions asking me when we are going to have kids, and when I laugh and smile (my defense mechanism), they don’t let down. They want to know a date when we plan to conceive! We’ve only been married almost a year, but we’ve been together for 4 years now. So why not pop out a miniature human? I always say, well we’re not ready or we are just enjoying being a twosome and don’t’ want to expand to a triad right now. Most of the time, the girls at these showers are in love with babies and have a million nieces/nephews. They have broken into houses just to smell a newborns head and to gently touch that spot where you can still feel their brain. Yeah, those type of girls. So when I mention that I am not ready, their eyes turn into black holes and they shun me. That’s when my mouth opens, and ruins it all. I start to talk about the head reforming after it pops out of your hoo ha.
Is it just me?
