Hello dear friends and readers!
I hope you had a lovely Christmas, Festivus, Hanukkah, Kwanza or regular old week in your worlds. Mine was lovely and very low-key and involved a “Too Cute” marathon on Animal Planet at my mom’s and a “No Reservations” marathon at home.
I asked for an electric can opener that I received, so that was exciting and another avenue in which I can probably maim myself in the kitchen. My mom cried at the donation to Muttville and new humidifier I got her and we did our annual holiday dance of, “You did too much” and “Just shut up and say thank you without being such a witch.”
It’s tradition.
Anyway, because most of you are still out celebrating while others of us are back at work—but mostly because I really have nothing else funny to say—I figured it was a good time to share another “Word Search” post in these parts.
To the uninitiated, I get some very random, often humorous yet disturbing search terms that lead to my blog. Sometimes I can tell which post might have led them there, but sometimes I’m completely confused.
For example, I’m not sure what it means that “midget goat porn” has shown up in the list, but I assume it’s not favorable for me. Actually, it’s not very favorable for whoever is Googling “midget goat porn.”
But without further ado, let’s begin (my notes in the parenthesis.)
Walking in a Winter Wonder Word Search
- Gordon Ramsay yells at a girl about mashed potatoes that can kill you
- Foods found in the freezer “sextion”
- I’m stuck inside a snow globe with a gnome
- Which one of my personalities offends you?
- I’d rather sit in my bed without a bra on (Who wouldn’t?)
- Skinny squirrel as an Elvis impersonator
- I am Sylvia Plath in a thong
- Homemade pellet gun traps for unicorns (Creative hobby, I suppose)
- Look at that bitch eating her crackers
- I find peace when I’m confused (I am a very peaceful person)
- I’m allergic to stupidity so I break out in sarcasm
- Good grammar is hot
- Melissa Rivers looks like Steven Tyler (So, so true)
- Hamsters using nunchucks (This needs to be a reality show)
- I would exercise but it makes me spill my drink
- Epileptic cardio machine (a very unfortunate typo on their part)
- Jump into a taxi and yell “Mascara is evil!”
- Squirrels at dentist’s office in race cars (Again, I need to see this)
- At Christmas we sit around a dead tree and eat things out of an old sock
- My pet raccoon has sneezing spells. What’s wrong with him?
- The popcorn you make in your pants (ironically found under the search term, “things to be grateful for”)
Although I’ve never made popcorn in my pants and am pretty confident I never will, I am grateful for this blog and all of my readers who have become my friends—even weirdos who arrived here by Googling “Polish banana clips.”
Now it’s back to work and then opening every can in my house with my new electric can opener, giving thanks the creepy “Elf on a Shelf” is gone for a year and prying the cat off the ceiling after hiding the “Xtreme Catnip” Santa Paws brought.
‘Tis the season, my friends!
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How were your holidays this year? Any family dysfunction to share?