An unusual calm
a tremulous sob
and that’s what it brought
I had thought,
I would be devastated
for I didn’t know
how it would impact me
I hardly felt the loss
But as the days progressed
no untimely calls came in the morning
when I was sleep,
and I least expected to pick up
but knew I would want to answer anyway
No calls came,
disappointment,
I felt so alone
I went back to the past
where the dust
had settled
in things and relationships
old and new
I airbrushed everything,
but couldn’t find her,
I couldn’t fix her
I couldn’t fix it
It felt unfixable
A permanent damage was done
Now I knew
Slingshotted to the present
Here I am,
amidst unknowns
some I know,
Some I never found out about
some never cared for me,
and some I never cared about
sometimes, somethings
they remind me of her
I wish I could tell them
But it’s gut wrenching
so I stay silent,
most of the times
just try to be happy,
that I remember her
I don’t know if I would ever come out of this mist
I don’t even know if I want to
I just want to be protected, again
one more time
held by her,
be young and small
and be cuddled and craddled
I want to go back
to her,
where I came from
for I miss that warmth
around me…
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