Image Courtesy HuffPost UK
In September last year, two young Sri Lankan women were subject to cyber bullying after cosplaying Wonder Woman at the recently held Lanka Comic Con. The news spread widely through social media and thousands reached out to lend the women their support globally. The apex of support came from the movie's director Patty Jenkins as well as the actress who played Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) herself.
This incident elicited news reports from dozens of websites and news sites, including BBC, NDTV and Forbes. It has also been covered in languages other than English. This story became the benchmark of how women face harassment and violence online, and the conversation raged furiously as long as it was still a sexy topic. But let us make no mistake, incidents like this are simply the tip of the iceberg, and run into much darker and deeper waters. As Amalini de Seyrah writes reflecting on just a few of the prominent activists who have been subject to harassment in the recent past, "That’s not counting every woman who has dared make a statement online, and then been targeted by offensive memes, called a lesbian, a Social Justice Warrior (SJW) or had a bunch of slurs thrown at her simply for standing for what she believed in. We’re very aware of what happens in the bubble that is Twitter or Facebook, and the abuse that goes on there is truly appalling. But worse, out there in the world, women who work on truly amazing causes deal with threats of death and violence. Very real threats of death and violence"
This and other incidents of this nature I have come across in online travels keeps following a similar formula – when attacking or critiquing a woman everything is fair game, it is not just limited to their arguments and what they are saying. And this is a tale as old as time, one that almost every woman who has a public voice and scores of others besides have faced.
A very senior women’s activist in Sri Lanka shared her experiences with me after nearly 30 years of fighting very publicly for the advancements of womens rights. She described the tropes that were used to describe her and other women she worked with – that they were unmarried and therefore frustrated, that they neglected their children, that they didn’t have familial relationships and that is why they were hell bent on destroying other people’s families.It had nothing to do with the arguments they presented, instead the focus was on tearing them down as people so that any argument (no matter how well phrased and logical it was) was instantly deemed invalid. Another women who worked in a newsroom talked about how she was told to dress when going out into the field to be taken ‘seriously’. Another story that was told to me by various women in various fields was that when they were interviewed for a job they were constantly asked if they were planning on getting married, when they were planning on having children etc. We hear of women in service sector being told how they need to amend the length of their skirts, pluck their eyebrows, the shade of lipstick to use – to appear ‘pleasant’. to None of these women were assessed or given an opportunity to discuss their ability as was relative to their jobs – rather it was their lives and choices that somehow were relevant and accepted as par for the course.
It is so deeply rooted within us, that so many women end up championing and upholding these patriarchal prerogatives that turn our choices, bodies, and lives into fair game for public opinion and discussion. Patriarchy has done its job so well that those who are oppressed by it can count themselves among its greatest champions. Stockholm syndrome at its finest. Disbelieving? Think about it. Have you ever come across an older woman in your workplace who takes it upon herself to give you ‘advice’ in how you should dress, sit, stand, who you smile at and how you talk to someone? All for your own good of course! Have you ever had a friend who has ‘warned’ you about the type of pictures you shared on your social media channels? Have you ever come across a group of women who gossip about another woman based on how she lives her life? This is exactly what I am talking about.
As Courtney Cook writes, “Though I had previously seen my body as just a vehicle for who I was, it seemed my body had now become who I was. As my body developed and the bodies of my classmates stayed stagnant, I became the odd one out. By fourth grade I was labeled ‘fast’ and kids were told to stay away from me, merely because I was more developed than them, and this crushed me. It seemed my body was all anyone could focus on. At a conference in fifth grade my teacher even stated to my parents “Courtney has cleavage,” and all they could do was stare at him wide-mouthed and wonder if this had anything to do with my education and progress (hint: it didn’t). It was just another case of my body being critiqued, judged, and examined by everyone around me”
The media plays a huge role in perpetuating this – just think about how female leaders globally are written about and portrayed. Remember when British Prime Minister Theresa May and First Minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon, were photographed in a meeting where they reportedly discussed the possibility of Scottish independence and seen on the cover of the Daily Mail with the headline "Never mind Brexit, who won Legs-It!" Whilst discussing matters of global import, you see, they had both worn skirts. As Elle Magazine wrote, “No one could reasonably argue that these women are only notable for their bodies, or that they haven't earned the right to be taken seriously. In fact, they enjoy a level of privilege most of us will never know. And yet, in a moment, any random talking head or would-be witty newspaper editor can reduce them to a collection of body parts to be evaluated by the public. If it can happen to them, it can happen to anyone. And it does”
As feminists often find themselves repeating – women are not a homogenous group, and so in the same vein it is necessary to state at the outset that this applies (despite neo-colonialist framing) to South Asia as well. Each country in South Asia has its own trials and tribulations, history, and movements, but there is still a great deal of shared experiences and values that allow for collective action and advocacy. One of the key factors that several South Asian countries have is a shared history of Colonisation, which has been primarily British and during the Victorian era. This has led to several laws, cultural commonalities and a struggle with identity. And perhaps one of the things we have embodies the best are these Victorian values that police and control women, their choices, their lives, and their sexuality. How far really have we moved from a time where long table cloths were normal to hide the legs of the table which were deemed too sensuous? You tell me.
The time is well past for Sri Lanka and our education system to take a long, harsh look at what it is that allows for this kind of sexism against women, and why young and not-so-young men feel entitled to take it upon themselves to police and harass women both online and offline.We need to ask and begin to deconstruct the patriarchal notions that have made women’s bodies and what they do with them a space for public discourse and opinion. We need to be given the tools in an age-appropriate, culturally relevant context to think critically and think of people as…well people. Radical notion as that may be.