I was walking home from another 12 hour day at work last night.
My head was numb, my chest was tight with sharp pains (espresso overdose?), I felt like I hadn't slept in a week. It has been four months since I'd last seen any member of my family. When I picked up Chick Fil A last weekend I almost started sobbing on the cashier because my little sister used to work there. My bank account was overdrafted by $30 and I have a $4,000 tuition bill coming my way very soon.
My car is about to break down because I can't find any oil change shops close to me that are open on a Sunday. I haven't been grocery shopping in weeks because of a) no money and b) no time. My laundry hasn't been washed and my co-workers are noticing me donning the same pair of pants twice in one week.
The house needs a thorough cleaning, not just for M's family that will be here in three days, but for my friends who are coming tomorrow. We just started finding ants in the living room and they love to hang out on my new damn Coach purse. My cat has been living on a diet of kibble and cat treats for a month since we haven't had time to get her wet food or buy turkey so she can have scraps. I haven't cooked a real meal since December because Hamburger Helper doesn't count to me.
I feel fat, and hopped up on too much energy drinks and lattes, and I have five clients barking for their returns that should have been done last week.
And I get home while walking and thinking about all this bull shit, and there are two wedding invitations waiting for me and neither of them are for MY wedding because I'm not even engaged yet.
But at home the floors are clean, the carpets are vacuumed, the bed is made, we have cereal in the kitchen, and a few clean clothes are hung up in my closet.
A glass FILLED with wine is waiting for me on the kitchen table.
God, I love this man.
18 days.