Writer Wednesdays: Slush Pile Hell; Crack for Writers

Slush Pile Hell is a literary agent's anonymous, hilarious release from the pile of atrocious queries that he/she receives each week (by the way, literary agents HATE if you don't address query letters personally; the Dear Sir/Madame, Mr./Mrs., Miss/Mister heading makes them feel like a hermaphrodite).
My FAVORITE from the Slush Pile Hell portfolio (P.S., I am sad that this is only once a week):
Query: "This will end by this being the book that every house has in their living room on the coffee table, book shelf or half open on the couch. The book every pastor and synogogue will have on display across the world. I would be sadly dissapointed if this book didn’t sell 100 billion copies in the first 5 years."

His response: "Hmmm … 100 billion copies for a world population of 7 billion. So, each and every person in the world is going to buy 14 copies? Seems reasonable."
I laugh every time I think about this post, AND I like how this query makes me feel like every query I have ever sent is absolutely brilliant in comparison:)
If you are involved in the writing community in any way, shape, or form, you MUST follow this blog. You are guaranteed to laugh, AND you will learn what not to do when querying an agent (although I don't believe many of the people that actually write in are "real" writers--maybe they have written one thing, or think they will get rich quit, or have some other delusion).