Y'all I'm Sorry

Posted on the 15 October 2018 by Lifeofasportswife @jessaolson

I'm Sorry! I have been inconsistent with this space when I told you that I was going to be consistent. I know that most of you will tell me it's ok because it's my space. I can do what I want with it. I appreciate your grace and margin.
But I was listening to Taylor Bradford's Boss Girl Creative podcast. I am not sure what episode it was but I remember her talking about the readers and we need to accountable to y'all. I have been a bad friend. I have been that friend that says sure I'll meet you for coffee then either cancels or doesn't show up. 
If I didn't show up for our coffee its probably my own insecurities of that I am not going to live up to what I think you think of me. Does that make sense? Probably not, but it's what's going on up there. 
Trust me it's not you!! It's totally me!! It's not like I don't have enough to talk about or I'm not a good listener. I let my emotions get the most of me a majority of the time. I am also AMAZING at worry about things that don't even happen. 
I haven't talked too much about it on my blog or social media. I have depression and suffer from anxiety/panic attacks. Last week I couldn't break out my depression and own anxiety. It's really hard for me to talk about me because I can't explain it. I can't explain what's going on in my head. Then when I can't explain I get myself worked up into an attack. The other day I was talking to a co-worker about this and they mentioned what's one thing I am grateful for. The only thing I could think of is my job. 
But I promise y'all I will be better. I will be here for you. I will show up for our regular coffee date three times a week.