We all have a tendency to hold on to the idea that others should be doing our thing-that they should see things as we see them, do things as we do them.
Why?
Of course, if someone should question us about it, obviously we'd deny it-say that this wasn't the case at all. Nevertheless, we do feel a twinge of disappointment when someone doesn't agree with our point of view or take our advice. What about when we become judgmental when someone does something that's wrong in our book?
Sound familiar? But of course, it should!
We need to remember that others are not put in this world to live up to our expectations. The sad fact, though, is we tend to believe that if someone does not behave the way we expect or does not do what we expect, they are somehow flawed, lacking, disappointing.
Truth is, we inflict the disappointment on ourselves. We'd gladly say that we believe in the live and let live policy, yet, there's always the unspoken addition of "as long as . . ."
An appropriate example is that of parents-and their disappointment when their children choose to drop out of college and pursue their passion. Yet these children will go on to lead perfectly happy and fulfilling lives. Why-most people feel let down by their friends because of the decisions they make. They don't want to accept that they have the right to do what they believe in.
We have to remember that it is this difference that makes us all special-the way we do things, the way we express ourselves and the choices we make. We must step away from the need to control things and run the show or want to have a say in it. Instead, we must embrace the difference and celebrate it and enjoy the experience.
We must learn to let go of our expectations and allow others to lead their lives based on their choices.
We must simply let others do their thing!
I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
and you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I.
And if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.
- Frederick Salomon Perls
When it comes to expectations, whose do you try to live up to the most? Your own? Or someone else's?
Holding on comes naturally to us.
What we need to practice is letting each other go.
♥
