Gotye - Somebody That You Used To Know

I'm back again. I've finally sorted through the mountain of shit that I've had growing for the last couple of years and I feel right to start letting my thoughts flow on here again. It's been more than a year since I was last on here, and I feel the time is now right to get off my arse and start writing properly so I can actually being to do something I want to do and not something I have to. I'm going to start my re-entry to this site with a bit of a rant on the last year or so, in the interest of closing the gap up.
I spent the latter part of last year grappling with sanity and my own moral code. I was going well at moderating the more destructive influences in my life but wasn't so crash hot on stimulating the positive ones, which culminated in something of a breakdown one morning at work after a particularly turbulent weekend involving multiple girls and lots of talking. I ended up seeing a psychologist, whom I still see now, and getting a lot of the shit off my chest that had been building, unbeknownst to me, over a period of time that has been longer than I care to remember. I went on antidepressants after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I'm still trying to sort myself out today, but I've been sorting things out, so I can't complain too much.
Just before Christmas I began seeing a girl who I've known for a while but only then took it to the next level with. We're still a couple today and it's been going really well. We still have our ups and downs, mainly concerned with my shortcomings (which is understandable), but on the whole it's been positive for me. I've changed a lot as a person since undergoing all of this mental bullshit, and she's been very tolerant of my moods and need for space, which I am nothing but thankful for. I decided to stay in Rockhampton to see how it works out, despite being fired from my job in March.
Oh, the job. I'm thankful for having it as long as I did, because it's improved my quality of life as far as my material net worth is concerned, but honestly I hope I never ever have to hang onto something that's that poisonous and unwanted as that again. First and foremost I hate the contrivance that is the retail sector. The basic mechanic is that you fuck someone out of money whilst they try and fuck you out of goods and services, which is lovely on one level but day in day out wears the wrong person down until you feel like strangling anyone who suggests a cash discount. I ended up being a victim of office politics, but really they were just looking for an excuse to cut me loose and I was over giving a shit a long time before I did anything about it. They tried to do right by me but at the end of the day it was a horrible mess and I haven't once been sorry it ended when it did. I might be slightly sorry it ended the way it did but it was never going to end well.
At any rate that brings me into the last five months, which have been constructive and life affirming. I took a trip down south to see family and friends, then I went North with my girlfriend to see a bit more of the country, then had an extended chill session before I was forced to fruitlessly jobhunt at the behest of my government. Once again, I'm very thankful that I live in such a great country - I understand that support for the jobless is definitely a privilege - but there's an undeniable frustration in not being able to get a job that you actually want simply because there's nothing there. I've spent weeks applying for all sorts of creative jobs, but haven't had so much as a rejection notice. There are plenty of mining and meatworks jobs going, but I'm done with working shit jobs, for reasons that should be fairly obvious by now. It'd be nice to have accessible jobs in this area, but hey you can't have everything I guess. As I say the majority of my frustration comes from having the government pushing me to gain employ on one end, then not being able to supply a job that I'm not going to kill someone doing on the other.
Having said this though, I've applied to the local educational institution to become a librarian, so that should get the job goblins off my back for the time being. I'm hoping that that'll get me some regular work that's in the ballpark of what I want to be dealing with as a career. I've also recently cleared out all of the shit that I had backed up on the computer and organized it so that I can blog and produce content for this and the eight or nine other sites that I've decided to maintain a presence on. That might sound like a lot but I can always close down any accounts that I don't feel are contributing to my quality of life. Or ego. Whatever.
I will be back at a later date with more updates, and maybe I'll chuck up some pics or something. For now though, that's the gap closed.