"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
1. Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after
What you thought:
What it actually meant:
2. A.D.
What you thought:
Everyone knows B.C. means "Before Christ," right? So surely A.D. means "After Death?"
What it actually meant:
WRONG.
That would leave like 35 years missing--the time Jesus was alive.
A.D. is for the Latin "Anno Domini" which means "The Year of our Lord."
I'm not even going to get into the issue I have with the fact that our culture structures all of human history around the birth of a fictional savior. That is for another day.
3. "Don't You Want Me" by The Human League. You guys know this song:
What you thought:
A charming back-and-forth where a guy is trying to flirt with a girl playing hard to get--a classic story of unrequited love.
What it actually meant:
Rapey, stalky man pushes himself on unwilling ex-girlfriend, says he made her who she is and she was nothing before him, and delivers one threat after another if she doesn't come back to him. She kinda puts him in his place but he responds with the same threats again and the song ends leaving you really uncomfortable and wondering if you should call the police.
He's basically this guy:
Thank you for the screenshot, fanpop.com.
I'm pretty sure The Human League was making a point, and fucking everyone missed it.
4. 50 Shades of Gray
Here are 35 shades of gray. ISN'T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU?
(Thank you materials-world.com for the paint swatches.)
What you thought:
A romantic but sexy novel about a shy young woman who meets a powerful man who introduces her to a new, kinky world of pleasure. A progressive book saying it's okay for women to like porn too! It's okay for women to be kinky! The BDSM world isn't weird, it's sexy, and even your grandma is into that shit!
What it actually meant:
A terrifying stalker with all the money and influence in the world preys on a shy, naive young virgin and manipulates her into a contract with him in which he is free to abuse her at his whim and even ignore her safewords. It is not porn, it is a story of domestic abuse. It is not kinky, it is abuse. It is not BDSM, it is abuse. This book is fucked up. Don't read it. Or do read it so you can tell your loved ones why they're crazy when they say they liked it.
What else can you think of that doesn't mean what you think it means?
