Diaries Magazine

A Letter to a Feeling

Posted on the 02 May 2014 by Sharasekaram @sharasekaram
"There are things that you can't do – like writing letters to a part of yourself. To your feet or hair. Or heart" - The God of Small Things.
Here is a letter to a feeling - which I suppose is a part of myself. Can it be done? I tried anyway.

Hey you,
I often catch myself thinking of you at times I least expect to. And almost anything can trigger it – a smell, a song, a glance - anything. But what never fails to trigger it is remembering people or meeting people who bring you to life.
You rush into me, whooshing through my belly and leaving me temporarily breathless. You make me flushed - like I’ve been running a race. You make my mouth dry and sometime, you even render me speechless.
Sometimes you stick around for a reasonable period of time and I get to really enjoy having you around. You dance within me, just waiting for me to hit the right trigger so that you can flood through me. Sometimes your visit is so fleeting, and sometimes those are the most exciting visits – because often the shorter your stay – the more potent you can be. And sometime I wait for you, patiently and then desperately but you fail to come. This is when I hit every trigger in the hopes of summoning you, and sometimes you are forced to make an appearance. But when you are forced to come – you are weak and a mere shadow of what you can be in your full glory. Sometimes I get so used to having you around that I somehow fail to notice when you have quietly slipped away. I wake up one morning and realize that I have emptiness within where you had taken residence.
Every moment you infuse becomes a special memory never to be forgotten. I know someday you will appear to take up permanent residence without much warning. So until then I will enjoy every moment that you are around, because they are made all the more special for the times you aren’t.
Thanks for lending your undeniable charm, glitz and excitement to my life –even if it results in some questionable decisions and sleepless nights. After all – where is the fun in not having any of that?
Always yours,
Sharanya

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