Fellow scribe and Master Dispenser of “Licka that Gets Your Girlie in the Mood Quicka,” The Realbarman, has an epic win of a treat your holiday Christmas pleasure. Like a modern-day Hemmingway, he ever so lovingly and graciously documents the nightly bar flow of Cougers and M.I.L.F.s, Bitches and Bros. It’s Christmas – so why not embrace and celebrate the bedouchery instead of guzzling the usual Hatorade? Here’s a snippet of the Pulitzer-worthy screed:
…when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But eight raucous Douchebags, lacking manners or fear.
They strutted in loudly, administering fist pounds and “Bros”,
While scanning the dance floor, for bitches and hoes.
“We came to hook up”, they boasted, “We came here to party”,
They came donning their game shirts: Affliction, Ed Hardy.
They swooped in on young ladies, with no etiquette or charm,
Uninvited they laid their hands, on their backs and their arms…
So head on over to the Realbarman for the full poem whilst you pounce LITs and “Redbull vodkas” and gorge yourselves on “moots-a-RELL sticks and “cala-Maaaaarrrrrrr.”
