I’ve always been a sensitive sleeper– not in the sense that I wake up to any noise, but in that many things affect the type of sleep I have.
If I eat too much mozzarella, I have strange dreams. If I eat too much garlic, I twist and turn through the night. If I drink too much caffeine, I have lucid dreams based around real life events.
About a week ago, I started sleep blogging. I’d “wake up” in the middle of my sleep cycle, write a post, save or publish it, and go back to bed– all without ever actually waking up.
Lamb understood that I couldn’t take a nap, but the teachers never did.
Now, if I was a normal person, I’d have been worried, but I’ve been a sensitive sleeper my whole life. When teachers used to enforce nap time at school, I would have horrible nightmares. When my parents purchased the bunk bed I wanted, I began to sleep longer than my normal four hours– except I wasn’t actually sleeping. I was just climbing up and down the ladder all night.
With this history in mind, I didn’t panic when I started posting typo-ridden posts in the middle of my sleep cycle. Instead, I decided to patiently play with the levers of my life — less caffeine, more caffeine, less sleep, more sleep– until everything was just right.
Yesterday, though, it took a turn for the ugly. I’ve begun sleep blogging without actually doing anything.
I’ve written this post three times, from several different angles and perspectives. In my mind only. Whilst asleep.
Yesterday, I didn’t post at all in real life. In dream world, I posted several times– and though it’s a slow holiday weekend– you should know that my imaginary posts were well-received. We laughed, we cried, and we talked about Buffy which made us laugh and cry some more.
Hey, where’d it go?
This morning I woke up, confused and concerned, that yesterday’s posts were gone. I decided to change my password, and in the midst of that– I remembered that it was all a dream. I really didn’t post a single thing yesterday.
I should be upset, the way I always am when I arrive at the end of a play, book, or movie, that tries to sell me the “It was all a dream” ending, but I’m not.
Yesterday was a good day for my blog. I don’t remember the imaginary stats, but I remember the imaginary posts and interactions. The writing was above average and we were all pretty wonderful with each other. I felt like my new readers seamlessly interacted with my long-term readers– and that humor, kindness, and intelligence came through from the comments in waves. A few of you silent readers even made comments that were warmly welcomed by other readers.
Source: berkleyillustration
So, to the blogger who wakes in my sleep:
Good job, you win this round. You’ve set the bar for better blogging. You’ve motivated me to practice till I can leap over that bar with the grace of a prima ballerina. I feel it’s only fair to warn you, though, that I will continue to try to rid my brain of you.
No offense, but this blog ain’t big enough for the both of us.
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Have you noticed the recent typos in my sleep-posted posts? Have you changed your blog password recently? If not, you should– it should be done regularly. Are you a sensitive sleeper?
