So I Went Undercover has offered up this letter template for anyone willing to play along! Simply fill in the blanks (in bold) with your own words– a write an open letter to the world! It’s all supposed to be in good humor, so nothing that will hurt anyone’s feelings for real, alright? http://soiwentundercover.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/open-letter-ad-libs/
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This is Goodie Harker, Lady Pirate. She was drawn by my husband, Grayson Queen. The framed painting of her face hangs right in front of my bed.
Dear Lady Pirate on my Wall,
I have been trying to forget that I feel this way for quite a while, but I can’t pretend anymore. I am really weirded out by you. You know when you stare at me when I’m changing? Well, let me share how that makes me feel… When you peer at me through your free-flowing gypsy hair, I feel as if I’m being jinxed. Not so much in an enchanting way, or even a bewitching way, but really, really hexed. It makes me want to douse myself in holy water. I would like to think that I am not the only one who feels this way. As a matter of fact, you know my cats? Well they told me that they walk a wide berth around you because they feel the very same way.
You know what they say: If one person says you’re a possessed pirate witch, you can forget it. When two people say you’re a possessed pirate witch, you might want to consider it. When three people say you’re a possessed pirate witch, you might want to start crawling your way out of the painting you pretend to be stuck in. It’s about that time for you, Lady Pirate. Think about that.
Since we are being so honest, there are a few other things I would like to air. I hate it when you let your eyes follow me around the room. It makes me itch to create my very own proton pack.
I also hate the way you make everyone who sees you fall in love with you. Every time you enchant a friend of mine I want to lock you in a freezer in your basic little frame.
Also, the evil fly who comes at your bidding is not your real friend. Remember that secret that you shared? Well she shared it with everyone. Now everyone knows you talk to flies, and they all laugh at you behind your back.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I really like you. I value our relationship. But I cannot go on pretending the jinxing hasn’t happened. If you care enough about me and this relationship, I am sure you would agree to remove any curses you’ve put on me and stop from putting more jinxes on me in the future.
Still friends?
Fondly,
Rara
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I really wish I could end this with “Also, does anyone want a possessed lady pirate? Her name is Goodie Harker, and one day, she might find a way to crawl through the painting– but until then, she looks quite lovely on a wall.” Unfortunately, my husband is still under her spell– so she stays for now.
I’ll get you someday, Goodie Harker!
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Have you ever lived with a piece of art, or decor, that you just didn’t like for one reason or another?
