Diaries Magazine

Back for Good... Sort Of.

Posted on the 31 December 2012 by Thefatalfemme @The_Fatal_Femme
Well well well. I'm back.
I apologize profusely for my absence, but, well - a lot's happened!
2012 has been a rather profound year for me. I became an Auntie, moved flats (again!), have been promoted twice and celebrated 50 years of my reign! (Okay, the last one's a lie...)
What does 2013 hold? Well let's start with January...
Or Fanuary as it will now be called... the woman's answer to Movember.
Yes, that's right. I, The Fatal Femme, will be growing out my George W Bush to its former glory! All in aid of raising money for women's cancer research and saving myself a bundle on shaving foam. Much to the annoyance of my disgruntled lover...
"But I won't be able to find it" he moaned.
Where's his sense of adventure? You wouldn't hear Bilbo passing up this opportunity. In fact, I think he'd actively encourage it... if his feet are anything to go by.
But it doesn't stop there! I have chosen to not shave my legs either. Why not eh? Go the whole hog - and look like one.
It is rather cold. And I can't afford leg-warmers, so I'm growing my own.
I was going to really challenge myself and say that I wouldn't shave my armpits either. However, I cycle to and from work, and could really do with not smelling like beef and onions for the entire month.
"Beef and onions?" I hear you ask. Yes, 'BO' to me translates to beef and onions after I accidentally tasted my armpit.
I bet you're thinking that I use the term 'accidentally' loosely but I can assure you that sampling my underarm was not deliberate.
I had an itch... I scratched it and within the hour had forgotten and popped my finger in my mouth. Whilst pondering why my finger tasted of an out-of-date Fray Bentos, I remembered.
I was mildly disgusted, as I'm sure you are too. Since then I have always relieved itches with much trepidation. And gloves.
Foul story, I know, but I just needed to get it off my chest... and armpit.
Anyway, what was I saying?
Yes. I'm not growing out my armpit hair. It would make me smell. And no one likes a stinker.
My new year's resolution?
To not smell. And to write this blog.
I will be documenting my Fanuary experience in this blog throughout the whole of Januhairy.
Unfortunately, unlike Movember, Fanuary does not include photographic updates and so to resolve this issue, I will be using celebrity hairdos as comparisons.
As I last shaved about 2 hours ago, I can safely say that I am currently working the Daddy Warbucks...
Back for good... sort of.

Watch this space...

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