Diaries Magazine

Boredom Sucks Sweaty, Hairy, Ugly, Lopsided Monkey Balls. Or Charlie Sheen's Balls, Which Is Just As Bad.

Posted on the 05 March 2012 by Jillofalltrades @JillDeTrabajos
Every once in a while, when I get really busy and burnt out, I start to wonder what it would be like to have no job or to work very little, maybe even to work from home (I'm still clinging to an absurd fantasy of my blog suddenly becoming wildly popular and being able to just draw funny doodles and whine about shit on the internet for a living). 

Boredom Sucks Sweaty, Hairy, Ugly, Lopsided Monkey Balls. Or Charlie Sheen's Balls, Which Is Just As Bad.

The Blogging At Home picture, now with 100% blue-er hair.


Then I have more than 3 days with no work, go completely batshit insane, and remember why I like to keep busy.
I've had no job since February 22nd or 23rd, I can't remember.  Something like that.  It was fine for the rest of February since I was packing and taking shit to goodwill and cleaning out my car and making travel arrangements and panicking about money like a mofo.  But ever since I've gotten here, I've had nothing to do, and I kind of want to kill myself.

Boredom Sucks Sweaty, Hairy, Ugly, Lopsided Monkey Balls. Or Charlie Sheen's Balls, Which Is Just As Bad.

The Couch Potato picture, now with 100% blue-er hair.


I don't even have a car.  And there's no real bus system (just some funky complicated thing that runs once in the morning and once in the evening and costs your firstborn child).  So I can walk to the Bi Lo or to the Target, or if I feel like walking a round trip of 4 or 5 miles I can walk to "downtown" Summerville (downtown is in quotation marks because it's, like, 3 blocks).  That's it.  I can't even arrange my room, because 95% of my shit is still in transit.  I have 2 suitcases worth of clothes, my computer and phone, and a small amount of bathroom items.
Here is what I've done with my days, starting with my second day here (first day was mostly spent on a plane):
Day 2.
11 am-wake up.  Primp until semi-presentable.
12 pm-walk to Target, purchase shampoo, soap, just enough food for a day and a half, bath towels.
1 pm-walk to Panera, have lunch.
2 pm-pay taxi $15 to take me 1.5 miles to florist.  Pick up flowers Nathan sent.  Swear never to take taxi within Summerville ever again.
3 pm-have roommate pick me up at nearby burger shop.
3:30 pm-make dinner, eat dinner. 
4:30 pm-use internet and Skype for 6 hours.
10:30 pm-shower, dry hair, moisturize, brush AND floss.
12 am-sleep.
Day 3.
11 am-wake up.  Primp until semi-presentable.
12 pm-go for neighborhood walk.  Shower briefly.
1 pm-use internet for 4 hours, eat snack.
5 pm-primp again.
6 pm-go to Folly Beach with James and some of his buddies.  Have dinner.
12 am-shower, braid hair, moisturize, brush AND floss.
1 am-sleep.
Day 4.
12 pm-wake up.  Leave off primping until later in evening.  Use internet for 6 hours.  Apply for jobs, plan interview for Monday (day 6).
6 pm-primp until beyond semi-presentable.  Actually look awesome, especially for how little eaten in last couple days.
7 pm-go out with James and friends again.  Try nasty hookah.  Eat overpriced lump of cheese-filled dough called a pizza ball.  Eat delicious frozen yogurt.  Attempt to not hate self for double diet-breakage.
12 am-sleep.
Day 5.
11 am-wake up.  Use internet for 1 hour.
12 pm-primp until presentable.
1 pm-walk to grocery.  purchase groceries, enjoy lovely day.  walk home.
2 pm-actually eat.  Revel in concept of food.  Use internet for 1 hour.  Grow bored.
3 pm-vacuum all carpets.  Clean bathroom.  Further organize the few belongings in current possession.  Drum fingers.  Use internet some more.
5 pm-cook delicious soup, kale chips and garlic bread.  Eat.  Feel like badass.  A well-fed, flossing, interview-getting, home-cleaning badass.
6 pm-use internet some more.  Drown boredom in diet coke and cheap vodka, trying to ignore how much it tastes and smells like rubbing alcohol.  Plan out highly specific, single-run 3-hour bus trip downtown for the morning for interview.  Set 47 alarms.
12 am-crash.
Day 6.
6:30 am-wake up.  Realize missed bus.  Wallow briefly in depression.  Complain on Facebook.  Consider calling to reschedule, decide to wait until godly hour.  Set alarm for 8:30.
8:30 am-realize 8:30 is still too early.  Set alarm for 9:30.
9:30 am-call.  Leave message.  Use internet for 6 hours.  Never have call back.  Apply for a million more jobs.
3:30 pm-get bored.  Realize there's nothing to do today.  Realize it's only Monday.  Realize James and all his friends are busy until Friday.  Realize car won't be here till Saturday.  Grow even more depressed.  Whine on blog post, and convert several old drawings of myself to versions with 100% blue-er hair.  Cry in corner, hold knees, and rock self.
Must.  Find.  Job.  SOON.
If anyone has ideas for things I can do this week to keep busy/not rip out every strand of seaweed-colored hair in my head, I am now accepting any and all suggestions.
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