I have written a lot about Christmas on this blog. It's because my family is awesome, and we've always made it a special, awesome time together.
Up until now, almost every Christmas of my life has contained these elements: My grandfather showing up on the 24th, a big turkey feast, opening one present on Christmas eve, having lots of Christmas snacks, watching Santa on the fire engine (who was sometimes my uncle), drinking, eating, and merriment. In the morning when we were little, we'd open our stockings really early, and then we'd all sit around the living room and open tons and tons of presents, and then play with our stuff through the house. Then we'd eat Christmas snacks for days and be lazy.
For more detailed versions, you can read My Family's Christmas, Christmas Highlights, or just browse my list of posts about Christmas.
I love Christmas. My parents have always worked hard to make it awesome for everyone and the seven of us (My 2 sisters, 1 brother, 2 parents, Papa and me) have always been together for Christmas. Every year of my life, that is what Christmas has been.
I mean, it's not all rose-colored all the time. Someone is usually sick with a cold, a few years in a row my eldest sister went to the hospital with pneumonia on Christmas Eve (just to the outpatience, she was fine and everything worked out). One year, my other sister cut off the tip of her finger while slicing up some Christmas french bread and meats and cheese. My childhood dog Frankie loved to get loose on Christmas Eve, to the point I swore that he was secretly a Reindeer because he'd always come back. One Christmas eve when I was 8, I fell in the toilet at 2am because my grandfather left the seat up (it's funny now). But those quirky stories are what makes Christmas even more special sometimes.
In recent years, the traditions have gotten a bit shook up. In 2003, my Mom was really sick with a bad disc in her spine and Dad made the turkey. In 2006 my brother was living in PEI and volunteer to work Christmas but had the 20th and 21st off work. We did all of our usually 24th stuff on the 20th, and all the 25th stuff on the 21st. My grandfather stayed the night and everything, and extended family even came visiting. It felt authentic, despite what the calendar said.
My oldest sister always wants to open the presents early, and in 2007 she got her wish. After opening 1 gift on Christmas Eve, people just kept going. I didn't like it at all, the 25th had not specialness to it after that. In 2008, my fiance and I attempted to fly home so he could witness and authentic Christmas, and instead I got stuck in Toronto for 3 days while he made it. I arrived at 1am on Christmas Eve, and then we did do all the traditions. In 2009, my grandfather moved into an apartment next to my parents and didn't sleep over, but was there for the Christmas turkey and things.
In 2010, my sister stayed in Halifax on Christmas Eve, and arrived home with my nieces on the afternoon of Christmas day. Even though we did all the normal traditions, something had changed. It didn't feel the same. I didn't feel the same about Christmas. It was still a great time, but I knew our family was getting to big to maintain the same patterns (from 7 people to 9 adults, 2 kids, 2 dogs and a cat).
This year, we've done something completely different.
My eldest sister moved into her very first apartment in April, making my parents empty nesters, officially. My brother moved to Alberta and said he wasn't planning to fly home for Christmas. My other sister planned to stay in Halifax with her kids (at least on Christmas Eve). That put me in a unique spot - do I fly home to spend time alone with my parents? Yeah, my sisters would "visit" also, but it wouldn't be the same.
Instead, I decided to fly out to see my brother. I've never been west before. If we all couldn't be together, and I live halfway between my brother and my parents, I figured I might as well give my brother company.
My sisters decided to spend the holidays together, so the eldest is driving to Halifax to stay with the nieces.
Then my grandfather got sick. A month ago he was placed in palliative care with 5 brain tumors and told that he had 1-3 months left. My mom has been spending most of her time with him at the hospital, and my Dad has been there regularly too.
Up until now, the 7 of us have been together every year since 1987 (as that's when my brother was born). But now we're spread in 3 cities.
If Christmas is about family, then I think we've still succeeded. Sure, we've argued and teased, and bickered over when to open presents, or what to do about my snoring, or how much to spend on gifts, etc. in the past. But my family is awesome. There's a lot of families out there that have serious issues and don't get along, or have mega drama. My family's not one of them. We're really close, and we're all pretty sentimental and good to each other. And I think that's what matters.
Whether we're together or apart, we've still managed to connect and care about each other. It's almost like we've just expanded and started franchising out our awesome Christmasness through spreading into more cities. The four females all mailed presents to everyone, one sister even mailed out Christmas decor for my apartment and my brother's place.
Me and my brother will make new traditions this year, and so will my two sisters. It's undoubtedly a harder time for my parents with their empty home and my sick grandfather. But since my Mom won't have to be a Super Mom and Christmas Hostess, maybe that'll actually be easier. And her and Dad can do all the cool "childless" things like go to holiday party and not rush home.
So, this year is a year about changes. But even though it's changed, and even though they're far away, I still feel like I'm spending the holidays with my family in a weird sort of way. Yes, I call home like 3 times a day, so maybe that's why. But I know that while I'm in Calgary doing Christmas, they're across the continent doing stuff, so it still feels like we're together.
