Rhiannon,
There's a lot of competition and drama at my dance school, especially in my level. I love the school itself but a certain few girls are driving all the levels crazy, and they're girls that I dance with every day. Do you have any recommendations for dealing with drama?
Thank you,
Emma -
Dear Emma,
Unfortunately, finding drama in the dance world is like finding fish in the sea. It's inevitable. When you put that many people together that much, there's bound to be some clashing personalities. We've all dealt with it and will probably deal with more.
The key is finding a way to handle it that diffuses a situation without stirring the pot even more. Sometimes it's difficult to give specific advice on topics like these without all the "he said, she said" but I think some general guidelines can absolutely be followed when it comes to handling people in the dance world...
Firstly, a lot of times, drama is simply miscommunication. Words get construed through the grapevine and tempers get heated. Girls commonly like to say things in secret rather than handle open confrontation. It's hard to express displeasure towards a person without injuring the relationship, but it can be done and needs to be done in order for things to get better. So, for example, if someone has said something that offended you, it is okay to tell them that what they said was hurtful rather than passive aggressively telling other people about what happened (not that I'm accusing you or anyone at your school of doing that, it's just a very common scenario). It's okay to say to someone, "That wasn't very nice. What you said hurt my feelings."Confrontation is usually the "make it or break it" of drama. If you calmly approach someone and talk rationally and with consideration for their perspective you are much more likely to be successful than if you approach with anger and hostility. Save the screams for the pillow, people.
However, and I have personally encountered this situation, if all has been said and two people still fail to get along, it is also okay to not be friends. You don't have to like and be liked by everyone and chances are you won't. Be civil and kind, but if you are simply not getting along with someone, you don't have to stand next to them at barre everyday.
The biggest piece of advice I can give is be calm, rational, and see where other people are coming from. That alone can take you a long way.
All my best and good luck,
Rhiannon -
Thanks for writing, Emma! And thank you for reading! Don't forget to LIKE A Dancer's Days on Facebook and follow by clicking the blue "Join This Site" tab below my profile.
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