Months ago, I met up with my girlfriend J. who had recently become single. As the two of us single ladies gabbed over lunch, her new found freedom was apparent in her relaxed demeanour and her new upbeat attitude – she was literally glowing! But when J. told me that she was excited to get back out there and start dating, I have to admit that I thought she was suffering from delusional heartbreak because, well, dating sucks! But then J. told me something that I had never thought of before, giving me an entirely new perspective on dating:
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, Stephanie, I haven’t forgotten what dating is like but I’m just so excited to meet new people and experience new things. I mean, there is something to be said about the hilariousness of it all! I can’t wait for all the new stories I’ll get to tell!”
She got me at story.
In recent months, I’ve been on the craziest dates! I’ve had moments where every fiber of my writer being has fought the urge to run to the bathroom and write it all down before it slips away. At times, it has felt like I was watching an episode of Seinfeld, except in this delicate circumstance, it would be wildly inappropriate for me to laugh. I once went on a date with a guy who picked up his cell phone five seconds into our date and told the other person that he couldn’t talk because he was in Dublin! I then spent the remainder of the date wondering if he was lying or telling me the truth.
Dating is bizarre, odd, and at times, extremely uncomfortable. But there is something to be said about being able to show up and just be yourself that is a skill in and of itself. In between the painfully awkward bit, dating helps you to navigate through the dark and murky waters and define what you’re really looking for in a partner. While sitting across from a stranger, sipping on overpriced vodka tonics, you become forced to clearly translate who you are, what you like and don’t like, where you’re headed next and most importantly, how you want to live your life.
For me, dating has taught me the immeasurable skill of saying ”no” when I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship further. It has taught me how important it is to continually invest in yourself and your passions – because going on a date with a person who has no interests or hobbies is by far the worst! And on a totally selfish note, dating has become an entertaining means of helping me work on character development in my own writing and of course, it provides endless, infectious laughter with my best girlfriends.
S.
