Today I had an appointment with my former boss 'Tom Hanks' to review French taxes that I owe and other scary 'financey' things 30 year olds need to take seriously. It's cute in your 20's to let things go in regards to your finances but in your 30's, there's no excuse. Unfortunately.
Walking into the office, I took comfort in the fact that nothing had changed. The smell of the old Parisian office with parquet floors, the sound of Nova Radio streaming from receptionist Julie's computer speakers and the sour glare of Clemence, one of the senior accountants who truly hates me. She used to like me but after the incident of me leaving a photo of the old lady from The Goonies on her desk, she hasn't been on Team Ella. For some reason, this had offended her so much where she saw it fit to make a special phone call (that I picked up and transferred) to 'Tom Hanks' on her cell phone from outside the building to tell him that it was disrespectful. Why had I left a photo of the scary lady from The Goonies on her desk? Good question. It was intended for Tom Hanks and while I was writing a dirty caption in a conversation bubble over the old lady's head, the phone rang mid-scheme where I had set down the offensive picture par hassard on her desk which clearly ensued havoc sending Clemence into an outrage. And for the record, Clemence is quiet attractive. She looks like an older Robin Wright former Penn, so I know that she doesn't think I was insulting her with insinuations that she looks like Throw Mama from the Train.
Now on to the next question on your minds. Why was I putting a picture of the old lady from The Goonies on my boss Tom Hanks' desk? Because that's our relationship. Torturing my boss had become a pastime of mine where he was almost disappointed if I didn't pull an "Ella".
That being said, he greeted me in the reception with "What the fuck are you doing here?" and I handed him a bottle of wine with this taped to it:
"I'm glad you haven't changed" he said as we walked into his office. Tom Hanks and I went over my non-existing funds, we laughed, I cried (because I'm fucking broke!) and opened the wine to share with the office (Clemence included). While I'm certainly not happy with the French taxes that I owe, it was good to see Tom Hanks and the rest of the team from Tom Hanks Finance Services.
