Illustration found on Paper Taste Buds Sébastien's New York trip has come to an end and I'm truly sad to see him go. When he first arrived, I was a bit concerned, spending this much time together (especially with family) can either make or break a budding relationship. In our case, I can say that it only confirmed our compatibility. Me being someone who is fairly easy to please and to get along with is finally with someone who mirrors my temperate manner. Apparently this harmony resonated because he received nothing but wonderful testimonials from my family and oldest friends.
During this time, being in such close proximity, we learned a lot about each other. He learned that I need to be alone when getting ready to go out to think, calculate and mix and match together looks. After 60 years of marriage, my grandfather has still never seen my grandmother get ready and she has always taught me to present the finishing product without giving away your tricks. Perhaps it's a bit old-fashioned but I think some things should be kept a mystery. For example, me stuffing my juicy thighs in a pair of air-tight Spanx is something that I would prefer him to not see. As for him, I learned that he does his best thinking while doing the dishes in silence and that the Apple store is to him what Anthropolgie is to me - pure consumer bliss.
Last night I took him to JFK to bid farewell to our well-spent vacation. I'm not sure why I started tearing up, but I did. Perhaps it was the airport, saying goodbye, the two glasses of red that we had at the terminal, but the tears just started flowing which is ludicrous because we're going to see each other in two weeks! Why the drama? Because that's just me, I guess...cue in Born This Way.
My walk back through the terminal was melancholy and absurdly cinematic. For starters, I was wearing a long black chiffon skirt (à la Stevie Nicks) that billowed with each step in my platform suede booties. Who wears that to the airport? And because he took the last flight out of JFK, by the time I walked back, the airport was desolate. I stood on the moving walkway, alone with electronic ambient music playing (I swear it could have been Sigur Ros - kill me now) and black and white flashing video scenes of cities were playing on both walls...Milan, London, New York...and Paris. It was just awful.
So now the big question. Why was I not going with him? Why was I not going home? To the city and man I love. While I got accepted into my school, got my paperwork in on time and was planning on jumping in for winter semester I decided to defer my application until the summer. Why? Before the break-up last year, I was actively pursuing projects with friends in the States where I had to put everything on hold when I was put in the unexpected situation of needing to find an apartment, a job and rebuild my life in a matter of weeks, leaving these ideas to collect dust and my friends (who understood) hanging. If I started school I'd be putting these things on hold for several years as I plan on a doing double program. I figured if there is anytime to give it a shot, it's now.
So this means that I will be dividing my time between Paris, New York and Los Angeles for the next four months while I pursue said goals. It's sort of like when aspiring actors give themselves a year to pursue their dreams before giving up and getting a cubicle job. While I certainly do not want to be an actress and going back to school is hardly giving up, I'm giving myself a few months to just go for it without the burden of a day job, the distraction of a boyfriend and intensity of school. Let's see what happens...
Don't worry, you guys will be with me every step of the way...I can't keep things from you for that long!
