The key to my...February has always been a bit of an emotional time of year for me. Maybe it's the cold weather that forces me to reflect because I'm not distracted with bike rides, sunshine, Marc Jacobs sun dresses and margaritas. Or maybe some major turning points in my life have happened during the month of February...
For example, the 7th grade Valentine's Day dance when my intense crush Zach went with "the (debatably) prettiest girl in school". This was a hard time for me. Seeing them dance in the auditorium as Kitty and I looked on in our plaid Contempo Casual miniskirts and waffle tops was hardship that I thought I'd never had to revisit again in my life. And don't even get me started on the fact that someone (no names Danielle Lisa Vincenzi) thought it was a good idea to publish this image of them dancing in our yearbook; "Going Places".
I knew how Jennifer Aniston felt way before she even did. Seeing them gloating in the yearbook made me finally realize that I had to let go of the life Zach and I had built together in my head and accept that we were never going "to be". I wasn't able to listen to Mariah Carey's "Can't Let Go" until at least the 9th grade..and even then, it brought up painful and wistful "what-ifs".
Several Februarys ago was also the first time that I had ever visited Paris and fell in love with this city and decided that I wanted to make my life here. And more recently, it was last February that the man that I thought I was going to share my life with decided "not so much" and I was left wandering these very streets that I fell in love with, carrying all of my belongings...alone.
...heart.I know that whatever happens, nothing is 100% but my love for my adopted city is as consistent as February. People come, people go and shit happens...but me and Paris? We're in it for the long haul.
