While taking a break at work in between buyer's appointments, I indulged in a rare moment of downtime and made myself a latte and futzed around on-line. After g-mailing, facebooking, tweeting, and linking in, I checked my AOL account. I know, don't laugh. Why I have never erased it is for one reason and one reason only: my mother who still calls the internet the world wide web insists on using this e-mail address to contact me. This is an e-mail address that gets over 300 pieces of spam per month and was created back when I had braces and a rockin' night consisted of photographing my cats wearing feather boas and watching reruns of The State on MTV. I was a party animal.
Being off the radar for the past week because of work, it was no surprise at all that there was an e-mail from her waiting for me in a sea of junk mail and Facebook receipts. I have gotten used to my mother's internet etiquette, or rather lack thereof. Her message are always in lower case, no commas or punctuation marks and are cryptic notes that say things like: "call me momma". She truly doesn't give a shit that a comma changes an entire sentence. But this is also the same woman who used to plant post-its around the house for the cleaning lady offering encouragement. For example, if Gloria moved the sideboard to vaccum behind it, she would be rewarded with a lime green post-it note that read: "very good thank you". My mom has never been sharp with expressing herself through written word.
Today's message, however contained a link from her source of reliable reportage of world news and issues; The New York Post and a note that read: "Ridiculous! Some people...I'm telling you. If MF pulls this I'll walk down to his restaurant myself and tell him what time it is." Tell him what time it is? Okay, I really shouldn't laugh, she learned how to compose an e-mail with punctuation and send links. This is huge.
My mother knew that it would pique my interest to read that Grammy Award winning artist Adele is currently being sued by her ex-boyfriend. Not just any ex but the ex who inspired her award-winning album, 21. Why the hell is he suing her? Well he feels that he is owed royalties of her album because he was the inspiration behind these heart-break anthems and feels that if it weren't for him she wouldn't be enjoying her current success. Okay, so let me get this straight, he treated her like shit, left her for a model, she wrote about it, people liked it and somehow she owes him for this?! People never cease to amaze me. She's a recording solo artist, what else was she going to do? Release a rap album? A book of poetry? Yes, he inspired these soul-crushing lyrics, but apparently he doesn't get that in this case inspiration isn't exactly complimentary.
The truth is that no matter how strong-willed and resilient you are, nothing kicks you in the knees harder than having your heart broken. There needs to be some kind of outlet to let out that pain in order to avoid showing up at your ex's house drunk at 2 am and making an ass out of yourself. For me, it was taking dance classes, reading and writing, and for others it's cooking, watching crap television, and in Adele's case writing an album that thank god will finally replace "I Will Survive". I have always found that heartbreak, albeit excruciating, has a way of taking you into the next phase of your life.
My big break-up of 2004 motivated me to get serious because at the time, my days were made up of waiting tables, going to Hollywood bars, waking up with a hangover - rinse and repeat. I was still young but I wasn't doing much with myself. After a month of self-pity and complaining that I had been wronged by my ex, I decided to get over it and do something about it. I went back to school, got an internship at a Fashion PR Firm and within a year and a half, I was working at the corporate offices of my favorite designer in New York where I met my French bosses. I put all of my energy into changing my life for the better and if wasn't for that experience, I wouldn't be in Paris right now. What is it about heartbreak inspires us to do great things?
I still wonder what will come out of this break-up, and if it will come full circle. All I can do focus on growth, recognize the past but not hold on to it and make better choices based on awareness and my past experiences.
As for MF, he better not sue me for my Liebster award-winning blog otherwise he has a tough Italian mother waiting for him ready to give him a piece of her mind and he will not be issued a lime green post-it.
