Today was Kitty's birthday and she had a backyard bash at her mom's house. She pulled out all the stops for her big 3-0. There was a snow cone and cotton candy machine, cases of Skinny Girl Margaritas, beer pong and....a bouncy castle. It was a Kitty Carnival!
All of the first guest arrivals were girls all adorning sparkling rocks on their left hands with their spouses in tow. Being sober, no one wanted to talk to the single girl who lives in Paris. It would be too far out of the realm of comprehension. Saying that, I spent most of the early part of the evening talking with Kitty's Uncle Roy. Kitty saw me chatting it up with him and quickly came over. "Be careful of him," Kitty warned me, "He looks like an innocent old man but he gets perverted after he's had a drink." Nice. I was disappointed because Uncle Roy didn't deliver the goods and kept the conversation to luke warm topics like pension plans and tax deductions. I must be getting old if even Uncle Roy isn't interested. Dis.
I found the single girls of the party, some of Kitty's other bridesmaids and spent the evening with them; dancing, drinking and hitting on Uncle Roy. The bouncy castle was taken over by the children of some of the guests and as mature adults, we let them play in it for the majority of the party. Once it got dark and the children were woofing down ice cream cake and after our many rounds of Skinny Girl margaritas, maturity went out the window and we decided that it was 'Adult Hour'. We climbed into the castle that now had a faint smell of vomit and jumped for 'joy'. After about 2 minutes, we were all out of breath and completely short-winded. The last time I was on a bouncy castle was circa 1993 and I remember being able to jump for hours and hours on end. Tonight, I couldn't even jump for 5 consecutive minutes without stopping for air. I was feeling my age. The children must have heard sounds of joy and fun from a afar because they took this as their cue to came in and attack us. Within seconds, I had three tiny miscreants screaming at the top of their lungs while pouncing on me. I was truly terrified and gasping for air as the children were piling on top of us in the corner of the castle which almost tipped over. We were desperately trying to escape on hands and knees when one of the fathers came over to the castle and told us to be careful of his kids and to act our age. Us be careful?! We were being accosted by tiny tots! I hate parents.
Breathless, I walked over to the dance area to find Kitty doing the skipping around clicking two spoons together to "Love Shack" while screaming like Chunk from "The Goonies". We may be 30 but we still act like we're 12. Killer children and creepy engaged girls aside, it was one of the best nights of the summer and I'm so glad that I was back for at least Kitty's 30th bash because I have missed all of her pre-wedding celebrations; along with everyone else's. I can only go back and forth so many times and feel that reserving travel for the actual wedding is a fair compromise. If her birthday party is a light preview of what her wedding will be, it will be the celebration of the year and I can't wait! Happy 30th Birthday, Kitty!
