I put a lot of thought into it. In fact, I did not sleep last night because this particular thought was nagging me ever since I went to pick up the newspaper in the morning and saw my dog just lying on the floor and basically just chilling. I know not from where, but the thought of him dying entered my head. Well, he is old and I would be lying if I said that I hadn't thought of this before, but today, this thought took me in a new direction and this tangent ended at the point of Immortality and its desire.
So, as mentioned, when I was thinking of my dog’s impending death, I thought of my life with him. He had been there ever since I had moved into the house and we had hit it off immediately. I’m kind of a dog charmer (or so I think myself to be) and these three stray dogs soon became my best buddies. They’d be there whenever I came back from school and they’d come to the end of my street to see me off on my bicycle when I went out. Then they used to wait for my bi-monthly visits home when I went to study in another city. They used to stand right outside the door of the rickshaw and pounce on me the moment I set foot on the ground.
Now, one of them is dead and the second one is old, very old and I fear that the next time I come home, he may not be there to welcome me back. So, at this point I got to thinking about immortality and how would I be able to bear the pain of losing everyone I knew and loved and cherished when I cannot bear the pain of my canine friends passing from this realm into the next.
How would I be able to watch years and decades and centuries and millennia pass by and watch the world change before my very eyes?
To lose everything I once had, to see time literally run away like sand from my hands and witness an ever-growing sense of loss in my soul.
How terrible to make and remake relationships and bonds and then see them being ravaged by the sands of time? Again and over again...
It is a pretty horrifying prospect to me and one that far outweighs the benefits of everlasting life. So if I ever had a choice, I’m going to choose death – voluntarily.
Go figure.
