Diaries Magazine

Desire

Posted on the 21 April 2017 by Tlog

Do I desire to be with her or just with anyone?

I have thought about this a lot.

I like to believe that we had something special.

How special can it be if it is interrupted by the slightest interferences.

Maybe I just created this image just around her. Saw things that weren’t there.

Chasing a fantasy, something unrealistic.

I wanted it so much, without completely understanding what ‘it’ is.

I was ready to endure all difficulties. To invest all I have into this shared journey.

Was I holding on to a hope in a hopeless situation?

I was hoping for a change.

I was waiting for her to feel the same for me as I imagined to feel for her.

I thought this is going to make me, make us happy in the long run.

I thought it is worth the trouble. I think it was worth the trouble.

I desired to be with her for a long time. Not just anyone but her.

I will never know if I ever had an honest chance or of it was not supposed to be to begin with. 

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