What Side of the Fence are You On?
Ever just sit there and think "so ironic"? Nobody seems to care or even connect the dots. Why do we do the things that we do?! Let me get you into my mind for a minute or two...
I'm sure most of you have seen those ads for dating websites and wedding companies...the dreamy looks, the carriage rides to a wonderful life, the holding hands...One minute you're in the lap of dream land in married world right? And the very next minute or sometimes even seconds, you're thrown into the lap of marriage hell. Cut to the scene of a series or commercials for a series all about abuse, murder, love triangles, what evil money can do in a marriage, rampant cheating and so on...we're all familiar. I'd like to keep this a happy and inspirational blog, but I think you get the gist of it (and I needed to use those examples to make a good point).
My question...is the grass greener on the other side, whether you're in a single boat or married boat? Do you have a shadow of a doubt about your choice?
You may have even seen that commercial for a computer security company that lets you know when your files are being corrupted or lost. The commercials goes something like this:
The couple is about to get married and they're being told "You're about to lose everything". An older woman smiles at the bride in a cynical, knowing way...like she knows what will become of the virgin-like, gullible bride...but, lets her do it anyway...it's all part of the life process, right - or is it? Just foolishness?
Then the bride and groom are going up the church steps hand and hand, and they are looking back at their limo...on the back of the limo instead of reading "Just Married" it says "Just Lost Everything"...Wow...so dramatic...that really makes a statement right there...I think the writer of that commercial must have been a jilted bride or had a horrible experience with his or her marriage, don't you think? What does it make you think?
Here's the commercial in case you haven't seen it (credit: YouTube):
In the end, I guess we will never know until we have crossed that bridge or hoped we hadn't crossed it in the first place. But, as usual, women will line up like their lives depend on it to get married and repeat the whole process. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, but there are just so many cases of abuse it seems that you wonder if you are perhaps signing up to be abused when you say those vows and agree on them until death do you part (I know, so old fashioned).
It is a situation where that other person knows all of your faults, weaknesses, and everything and every single secret about you, that you most likely happily shared. We love to share things, right? There has to be control issues present in the marriage with all of this sensitive information that's so easily given up to someone else who "owns you." Not only that, the other person knows all of your buttons and knows how to push them and make you operate. I believe this is a huge part of the problems that people have...it can either go the very right way or the very wrong way in a marriage.
But, you know there is that other 50% of marriages that do work and no one seems to shine the spotlight on them or even talk about them. There must be some couples who are happy...it's always the negative things that attract the most attention so it seems...
Just like anything else in life, I suppose the answer is you have to experience it. I think with marriage, though, once you are knee deep into it, you end up paying a very steep price if things aren't working, especially if there are kids involved...if there is abuse involved, you end up losing your sanity and self esteem...
Just lost everything...?
National Domestic Violence Hotline
