Self Expression Magazine

Dreams & Weddings

Posted on the 09 December 2012 by Piaiamps @pemarikresta

My sister and I are having a conversation on her Facebook wall. She's gushing about how she wants to have these balloons on her wedding day.

Dreams & Weddings

Photo: http://fairytalepastel.tumblr.com/post/29536277337


She asked me to take charge but I refused. I told her these balloons will go to the oceans and fishes will eat them. Now, I wasn't kidding at all. I was serious when I posted that comment on her status. I'd love to do everything for her to make her wedding really special but I will never lend a hand in destroying our environment. So I suggested lanterns instead, because paper melts. Plus it's more dramatic. But she declined, too expensive. She said her helper already bought the balloons earlier today. Ugh. She consoled me by saying that she'll just "do some random acts of kindness later to save my soul." Well, I hope she spends the rest of her life saving our oceans. :/
Everyday, Ambin asks me to marry him. I find it amusing and irritating at the same time. It's cute but I feel like I am being brainwashed secretly. We have these occasional talks about our future and how he desperately wants to end up with me. After he gets his license as a civil engineer, he wants to find a good job, marry me and start a family of our own. I like his plans. However, I honestly don't see myself becoming a wife or a mother years from now. I'm too immature and irresponsible. Besides, I've had these dreams that I want to fulfill before helping others realize theirs. I want to go to places I've never been to, discover new things and interests and make new friends. I want to learn more, experience more and improve myself more. Ambin doesn't disagree. In fact, he'd love to join me in my adventures. I also want to give back to my parents before I turn to be a parent myself. He too agrees and even thinks that it's a lifetime obligation to help our families. What I like most about our relationship is that we always think of other people's happiness. Guess when you grow older, you realize that it's not all about you. It's not always about what you want, what makes you happy. Sometimes you have to set aside your own and consider what others want and make them happy, too. And maybe get into a bargain in the end. Still, I won't exchange my dreams for Ambin's dreams for us. And I also want him to reach his, those not involving me. Call me selfish but I think it's better this way. I don't want to regret someday and blame him for whatever decisions I wrongfully made. He loves me so much so whatever. :)
Sigh. My sister should get married ASAP! I need to get these wedding-related stories off my head. But I have elegant wedding gowns in my mind, which I will never tell. Saving that for my day! HAHA. Why is everyone getting married? :s
x

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