I have been a lot happier since I made the decision to become a Single Mom By Choice. This was not an easy choice and it is one that I thought about for quite some time. This is not an easy journey and I am still at the very beginning of it. There has been needles, painful medical tests, fear of judgement, and a financial investment of a yet to be determined amount. All of that and there is no guarantee of a baby (though I strongly believe my bundle of joy will be delivered to me) See, the journey to becoming a mom is not an easy one. So why have I been happier since setting out on this journey? Control. While ultimately I cannot control if and when I become a mom, as it is up to God, I do feel much more in control of my life because I am proactively pursing what I want.
I was a bit of a late bloomer. I did not really date as a teen. In my twenties dating progressed from a fun thing to do to a necessary step for marriage and children. In my 30s after a few failed relationships dating became stressful do to the increasing volume of my biological clock. Deciding to put the cart before the horse and have a baby before I find a husband has made me feel lighter. I still find dating frustrating, especially when men express interest verbally but don't follow through with action. However I don't feel like I have to hurry up and pick one. I don't feel like I have to settle before it's too late and I miss my window for having babies. I don't have to beat myself up over the years when I was focused on other things instead of finding a guy when I was younger. I no longer feel like one of the things I want most in life completely depends on someone else.
In short I feel happier because I feel empowered and like I am doing what I need to do to have the life I want. I want all of us to feel that way. While single motherhood, or motherhood in general is not for everyone, if it is something you want, I want you to feel empowered to pursue it. The beginning of empowerment is knowledge. Since starting on this journey I have learned a lot about my body, reproduction and fertility. One important thing that I've learned is that there are two tests available that can help you get a clearer picture of your fertility. If you are in your 30s or even late 20s and think you may want children one day, even if you are not sure now, get these two tests so that you can be informed.
In this video I describe the tests and what they can tell you about your fertility.
Pursuing your dreams is a great way to increase the Joy in your life. It may be hard but you will be working toward the life you want. My dreams have always included becoming a wife and mother. Becoming a single mom by choice gets me half way there.
Are you living the life you dreamed for yourself? Have you given up on your dreams? Do they include motherhood? If so have you or will you get the two tests that give you a clearer picture of your fertility?
