Self Expression Magazine

Free Falling!

Posted on the 23 January 2017 by Harithapk @Hpk_thotzzz
He had tried in all his might, but now had to accept that it wasn’t really that easy to convince her. According to him, she didn’t really make any attempt to come out of her boundaries. He didn’t like the fact that she was guarded all the time. He wanted her to come out of the walls she confined herself in. When she had failed this time too, he had to call it quits. While walking out on her, for what looked like the last time ever, he exclaimed- “You have built the walls around you, yourself. I am tired of advising that you need to break your boundaries. I can only show you the door, you got to escape through. But, you refuse to take notice of it even. I am done.”She looked at him through his outburst. One part of her felt she understood every word he said, but yet another did not. It was always clear that he did not approve of her quite demeanor. She knew she was never his type. He expected her to change a lot of her personality and attitude to be accepted. All these while, she worked hard to be just that because it was for the first time, that someone noticed her and tried to help. She wanted to be all that he said. She wanted to change all of her traits just because all she wanted was HIM.  Today, as he walked out, she sat there expressionless. She didn’t know what to make out of this entire episode. It was like a storm had come in out of nowhere and destroyed all that was left of her. She had to gather all shattered pieces of herself to able to function again. Earlier, she probably wasn’t perfect but surely,was at peace with herself. Alas! Now, she was left in utter chaos not knowing what to do with her own self. She was stuck in between both the Worlds.

As she saw him walk away, she wondered if he ever understood her. He was right when he spoke about the walls she had built around her and the limitations she had set to herself. He was accurate when he claimed that she is the only one who can break it too. But, he was wrong when he spoke about the doors through which she could escape. That is because, there never was even a window, forget the door. She had built the wall not from fancy marbles, but with every brick thrown at her. She had ensured that there was no outlet for anyone to barge in. To get out of it she had to struggle her way up the wall. What he didn’t understand was that building the walls itself was her escape plan. If she ever tried breaking out, it was only for him. It wasn’t as simple a walking out of a door. She had to struggle her way up, to get out of it.

Strangely, now she realized that this person had always stood outside the wall and expected her to join him. He never bothered to check what was in offer inside those walls, but assumed it to be a dark dungeon. He never attempted throwing in a ladder. All he did was persuade. Yet, she got carried away. She had tried in all her might, to crawl up the wall. She fell down several times, bruised herself only to rise up again and try. The days she tried hard was when she couldn’t hear him, from the outside. She feared him gone. Today, she did battle it out finally and crawled up to the walls. She was puzzled when he never offered her the final hand to lift her up. That was all he had to do. Lend his hand and drag her to his world which he called beautiful. Exactly that moment, he had given up. He didn’t understand, what it took for her to crawl out of her world, the world she had built. That day she realized that HE WAS ALWAYS SO FULL OF HIMSELF. She continued looking at him from the thin line between both their worlds, as his silhouette faded away.All she could do is let out a tear and fall back. It was a freefall. Back into HER bed of RED roses.

From where she saw, it was her paradise.

P.S: I think boundaries don't keep others out, but fences you within.This is dedicated to all those people who have at some point in life felt not in sync with the way things around them work and have set limits for themselves merely as an act of self-protection. Its dedicated to all you people, who are so fiercely loyal that you are willing to take the plunge. To you, who has the courage to stand alone and face the storm. To all you people, who are willing to freefall into nothingness and still find your happiness. 

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