Please welcome my guest blogger, Jonathon Hilton! If you haven’t visited Jon’s site already, then snap to it– you’ll find a ton of inspirational stories that way! Send tons of rawr-love his way! http://www.jonathanhilton.com/
She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not
There was a couple I knew who were so in love that everything they did was for the collective cause of their relationship. When one was not up to snuff the other would make the effort to empathize with them and help to pull them through.
When the other experienced a setback, it was like they both were equally affected. They talked about it and made the next plan of action together. Their love was the most important thing and they were definitely a team of we.
Over time this changed, as kids came, chores grew, and the love between them stopped being the focus. Now there seemed to be a focus on the individual, like there was a ledger they kept track of what each contributed.
“I did the laundry today, you haven’t done anything.” The judgment stated with chores but over time it slipped into all phases of their lives. Once you start to focus on your individual scoreboard in any relationship you are going to never be happy.
You will always be able to find a way that you were shortchanged. This is the choice they made to lose the empathy in their relationship. Once that is gone, the relationship is on shaky ground. It has always been the point where my relationships have crashed and burned.
Take a look at your own and see if there is a ledger that you keep in your mind. If there is, destroy it or it will most likely destroy your relationship.
Living and Workin’
When it comes to work, there is a cycle that all jobs I have ever had went through. First there is excitement to be working in a job you think you will like. That initial excitement can last two days or ten years, I have experienced both.
Eventually you start to look at your value and the contribution you see that you are making. Most people will eventually come to the conclusion that they are a pretty big piece of the puzzle.
Things that you used to do for the excitement of it at work, or because you knew it was best for the company is now a strain that makes you feel frustrated and mad.
Why the change? To me it is the point where you go from thinking about the job as something you are contributing to as a part of the system to thinking about what exactly is in it for you.
When you begin to keep track, then it is almost impossible to be happy where you are working. Just like in a relationship, the ledger will always seem to be stacked against you. You will seem to give a lot more than you get. That is when it is time to try something new.
This is the power of we, when you make the choice to contribute, to accomplishing a task, regardless of what it is, then you will find work more enjoyable and satisfying. If you are unhappy then you are most likely worried about what you are getting out of it.
I Shouldn’t be Your Focus
No matter what aspect of your life you are looking at, when the focus is solely on you and the things that you are getting out of a situation your concern for yourself is making the power of me work.
Which will simply leave you angry, frustrated, and alone. When you make the choice to practice empathy with other people and groups of people then you are going to have success, feel happy about what you are doing and love life, that is the power of we.
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Now that Jon has inspired you, too, visit his blog for more potent advice, practical guidance, positive humor, music,and value-based personal stories. If I were you, I’d start here:
http://www.jonathanhilton.com/blog-around-the-sun/talkin-me/
http://www.jonathanhilton.com/inspiration/thirty-questions/no-judgments-here/
http://www.jonathanhilton.com/blog-around-the-sun/message/