Hello! Still Alive, Still Waiting

Finally I have a start date for the new clinic: 29th of December. Thank god!!! It's going to be a raging party for me this new years eve! Me and the nurse's, living it up large. Still, I'm relieved. Terrified too. What will I do without my eating disorder? How will I deal with my emotions? What's going to happen???
I'm hoping to settle in an do some proper writing and painting while I am there. Too anxious and busy to do it now. I have just amped up my anxiety too, because I have commited in my head to eat THE SAME FOOD AS EVERYONE ELSE on Christmas day. For the sake of my children, I want to do this, but I am shit scared.
Anyway, here's a little picture of Santa, perched on my Christmas tree.

Xx