Diaries Magazine

House Rules That Make Total Sense to Me and Absolutely No One Else in the World.

Posted on the 22 February 2020 by Lynne @lynneknowlton
House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

It's noooooo secret that I'm obsessed with life at home. I spend my days redesigning spaces, in my head. I imagine different interior layouts, move furniture 1373957 ways around a room, prep 'lifestyle' vignettes (whatever that means) and fantasize about different ways to make pajamas acceptable at all times of the day.

I get like, next level obsessed with all things HOME.

Read the list. I swear, it isn't boring.

Although you may now think I'm a freak.


This may sound like captain obvious, but I super love decorating with white. People often say to me : 'how do you keep it clean?' Well. You wipe it when it is dirty. Then they say ; 'whuuuuut if I have a white sofa and want to eat my spaghetti dinner on it?' Well. Eat at a table like grown ass adults do.

PS. I have a white sofa and I can HOSE IT OFF WHEN IT GETS DIRTY. Legit. Should I even admit that in my outside voice? I haven't actually used a garden hose on my sofa, but I could. They make super durable boom dig fabrics now, people.


Drink only real coffee. Is it weird that I think coffee in pods is a little bit iffy? Like, how long did that coffee linger in that pod before it lingered into your coffee cup? Did I just wig you out? Welcome to my headspace. It is crazier than a swirly straw in here.


When I'm not second guessing my life choices, I'm thinking about ways to make pretty much any space a little bit prettier. Whatever room I'm in, I wish it was brighter. I wish for more natural elements and wish that I was looking at an oceanside sunset, rather than the current pile of laundry that is forever giving me the stink eye. If there are any rules to follow they go something like this: light trumps dark, fun trumps formality, linen trumps polyester. Stamped it. Double stamped it.


I spend a lot of time wondering if the stuff I think about is weird. For example, I like dead plants more than the live ones. You know those wispy flowy airy dead things? Love em. You know those bright coloured tulips and roses? Hate em. There is only one exception this rule: if the plant is all green ... I LURVE IT. Green light pass. Is that wahhheird? Don't answer that, it wasn't a real question.


We have four kids. Three is for quitters. We've learned that is is realllllly important to take the time to eat dinner with our kids. At a real table. With real dishes. No tv or cell phones at the table. Don't even try it. Or you'll be on dish duty for the rest of forever.

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

Can well all agree that the toilet paper needs to roll over the top of the roll, not down the back. Am.I.Rite?? If you invite me to your house, I'll turn your damn your toilet paper roll around when you aren't looking. Judge me.

I have a public service announcement for all women and men out there: YOU ARE ALL LITERALLY DOING IT WRONG. You should be shutting the toilet lid completely before you leave the bathroom. It's the only respectable thing to do.


What about all my messy laundry all over the floor? My rule is put the dirty laundry and unmentionables in a dark, private shame-ridden closet. That's where dirty laundry goes to die. A clean bedroom is what dreams are made of.


Let's talk about disposables. Paper plates are convenient and all... but unless you are living in a hut or throwing a massive party, there's no reason to use disposable or plastic anything. You deserver better than that. You deserve a real glass and a real plate. And plastic wine glasses? Don't even get me started.

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

Use a tea towel. Michael splashes around like a duck when he washes his hands in the kitchen. To dry his hands, he wildly flaps + flicks them in the air and soaks anyone within a one mile radius of him. His hands may be as clean as a whistle. But so is my face. My hair. And pretty much anyone else who dares to stand nearby.


I don't like it when things get mixed up so I love to label things and sort them like any obsessed crazy person would do. I legit NEST, like a pregnant 55 year old. Here's the deal. When you can't find something, it causes a lot of extra work and definitely a few more swear words.


Here's another aesthetic thing. The sight of a funky dirty dish cloth sends me into a deep dark funk that can last for months, even years. The struggle is real. This super inexpensive practical thing changed my life. It will change yours too.


Nothing makes me feel crazier than opening the refrigerator to find copius qualities of opened non-milk-soy-mocha-latte-almond-rice-coconut-cashew-cream-lactose-free-oat-milk open. It just sits there, laughing at how out of control my life has become.

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

Okay. I've exposed that I'm literally an insane person with high regard for real dishes. I should backspace a few of those off the list.

Despite my insanity, soooo many of you have asked me to share the inside scoop of where I shop, what paint colours I use and overalllllll, how to make HOME feel ohhhh so good. Obvs, I follow my house rules, ya weirdo. hahaha.

Tristan and I are working on a new section for the blog, to shop each room in our home, treehouse + cabin. We also added a few new items into our own shop too. Here is the Bali Collection. Erhhhmergerd, right?!

Until then... we gathered up a few of our HOME faves to get this partayyy started ... xo ...

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

Tell me you have your own house rule quirks that drive everyone crazy. Don't leave me alone in this world.

House rules that make total sense to me and absolutely no one else in the world.

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