HOW TO BLOG :
Blogging = yelling words
into cyberspace so loud that even Helen Keller can hear you.
Social media = slaying dragons
with fiery breath while wearing a paper bag. Sometimes it is scary. Sometimes you feel vulnerable. Sometimes you feel downright naked. Like a paper bag princess with dishevelled hair and a broken high-heeled shoe. Unless you are a guy. Then that would just be weird.
That’s where love comes in.
Love= What keeps you going
Valentines day is for sissies who cave in to spending a zillion dollars on roses. Love should be celebrated every day. Not just hyped up on Valentines. Screw you, Valentines day. You are over rated.
Love is better shared always. With or without roses.
Blogging is like love. It is vulnerable. It is wicked fun. It is hard work.
Blogging is hawt.
Source: valentinesshit.tumblr.com via Design The Life You Want To Live on Pinterest
HOW TO BLOG :
Blogging is hot to trot.
If you are not already a blogger, it’s not too late. Get to it. I’m going to help you along the way.
Lesson #1 :
The best bloggers are the ones who aren’t afraid to catch hell. They aren’t afraid to keep it real. Blog posts don’t need to be perfect. You won’t die a thousand deaths for imperfection. Just write.
Lesson #2 :
People don’t connect with blogs. They connect with the people who make the blog come to life. A great measure of a spectacular blog is the engagement. Why? Because only 1% of blog readers leave a comment. One percent?! Crap. That is tough to know, isn’t it? Ignorance can be bliss.
Do you ever find that sometimes reading the comment section of a blog can be just as much fun as the blog post itself ? There is epic shit in there. Read it. It is like getting the last cookie out of the cookie jar. Savour it.
Lesson #3 :
Read other blogs and learn what makes you tick. Learn what gets your mojo running. What drives you and inspires you to do the same on your blog? What makes you want to sit down and type so fast that you find yourself pounding on those keys. That is your sweet spot. That is your diamond in the rough.
Lesson #4 :
Keep it real. Forget about the rainbows, unicorns and fake crap. Life is not perfect. Celebrate the imperfections and stupid things that just happen when you are not looking. Just like that. Sometimes blogging is like walking into a pole. Then tripping. Then making a fool of yourself. You write. You feel great. You fall down. You dust yourself off. You go back at it.
Lesson #5 :
Draw a line in the sand and start something new. Your life is a true story. Be authentically you. Only you can be you. You are unique like that. If you try to be someone else, you are going to get pounded into the dirt.
Blogging is :
- Like having a bestie and an enemy to your self esteem.
- Zen-like therapy and an ancient chinese torture chamber.
- A sugar candy high and a slushy brain freeze of pain.
Source: lynneknowlton.com via Design The Life You Want To Live on Pinterest
Watch what happens when you focus on loving and helping others achieve their success. That is what blogging is all about. Helping others. It is epic. It is full of gratitude. Every good blogger loves comments and is so grateful for each and every one of them. Leaving a comment for a blogger is DOPE. It’s crack, and we want more. It’s d’bomb dot com. Gratefulness comes with every comment. Tony Robbins said it best :
When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.
Watch what happens when you are grateful for the here and now. When we are grateful for the support, we feel confident to take one more step out of our comfort zone and try a new thaaaang. You will start to think outside the box. You will step right out of that box.
Blog with love. Blog with kindness. Take care of yourself . Stay strong. Watch what happens when you love yourself more. The best investment you can ever make in your life ~ is in yourself.
Source: browneyedbellejulie.blogspot.com via Design The Life You Want To Live on Pinterest
Love your quirkiness.
Love your mishaps.
Because shit happens.
Just LOVE.
It is that simple.
Have a problem with someone? LOVE them.
HOW TO LOVE A WOMAN :
1. Men and Women don’t live in the same zip code. Embrace it.
2. Want to tell a woman that you love her? Just love her.
3. Want to really turn her on ? Do the dishes and take out the garbage. It is not rocket science. I promise.
4. Are you in for a big surprise? Clean the house. That is what women call foreplay. Stallion.
5. Recipe for romance : Great table manners. Mess that up, and you are going to get your ass delivered to you.
6. Want to really make her happy? Make the bed. Wait for it. Wait for it. *she will dance* {mostly out of surprise that you did it}
7. Want to get lucky? Pick your underwear up off of the floor. The floor is not a shelf. Sadly, it is often mistaken as one.
8. ” Whatever ” Is a woman’s way of saying “ You’re an idiot ”
9. Want to make her smile? Do the laundry and don’t shrink her favorite sweater. If you do, run. Run fast. Run far.
10. When a woman says ” go ahead “. That is a dare. Don’t do it. It won’t end well.
11. Want to really get her mojo running ? Play with the kids. Outside. Avoid fire and blood. No emergency vehicles should be involved.
12. When a woman says “does this dress make my butt look big?” It’s a trick question. Don’t answer it.
13. If a woman says ” FINE !! ” you are definitely in big shit.
14. Want to really make a woman crazy in love with you? Don’t control the TV converter with your eyes shut and your finger glued to one button. That is just wrong.
15. Do you really want to give her something special ? Make dinner. Kraft dinner doesn’t count, goofball.
16. Do you snore? Breathe right strips make you look like a wort hog with duct tape on your nose. Wear them anyway. It is better than the alternative. The alternative of getting punched randomly in the middle of the night. Stick that duct tape on your nose. It is your key to survival.
17. Just love her.
My gift to you :
Please use any of the photos in the blog post to create your own gift cards. It’s cool. And easy to do. Check it out :
Ready to get yer game on?
Ready to crush it ?!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Start your engines.
Vroom. Vroom.
p.s.
In the next few weeks I will be sharing some blogging secrets.
And designing secrets.
And my bra size.
TMI ? Will I get arrested for that? Please share this blog post with other bloggers and friends who may want to learn about blogging. This post is the first in a series of blogging secrets and tips. I’ll be dishing out a lot of dirt over the next few weeks.
In between blog posts, you can find me goofing off hanging out on Facebook , Twitter or Pinterest.
That probably explains why I am bra-less with dishevelled chicken hair.
It’s pretty damn glamorous being a blogger.
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*tapping fingers* tapping toes*crossing fingers and toes*crossing legs*hurry up and share* I have to go to the washroom* I can’t wait*
