I'm going to teach you how to knit something. You'll never guess what, but it rhymes with schmanket.
It probably sounds kinda weird that I get all googly eyed and happy about knitting a chunky wool blanket.
BUT. THIS BLANKET!!
Sorry I yelled at you like that.
This chunky knit is my fave blanket on the entire planet. Okay, okay... I adore this blanket too (one of my fave knitting patterns in the history of ever) but this new one has topped my knitting charts. It will blow you outta your knitty waters.
Remember back to the prehistoric cave man days when 6 year olds didn't toddle around with iPads and play games on cell phones? Remember 1997, when we actually talked to each other? With real words. Like actually looking UP instead of DOWN? A time when we talked to a person. With real talking. So old-fashioned, right? We enjoyed tiny, fleeting moments of pure, unadulterated quiet and no bleep-ring-bleep-ding-bleep-loop-ding-ding.
Knitting takes us back to that time.
Don't get me wrong, I freaking love my iPhone. I talk to Siri like she's my bestie. She chats with me in her sweet British voice. I pretend I'm strolling the streets of London and eating french fries rolled in newspaper cones. I'm at one with my french fries with not a care in the world. Judge me.
Sometimes, when I'm in a super busy place, I just want to go up to every person and be like: "If all of us just agreed to knit, we could solve world peace. Thank you." Apparently I'm 100 years old and should never be seen in public again.
Knitting is not weird. It's limited edition. Try it. You can do this. Tell your inner critic to take a hike. You'll kick yourself for not trying (or make me kick you, because that would be super awkward.) You will most certainly freak with your knitting prowess.
Knitting calms us down. Never, in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down when told to calm down. Knitting is the only thing that can get away with that. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.
Learning to knit
When I was learning to knit, I knit more holes than I did stitches (don't get my Mom started, don't get her started, don't get her started)
I figured knitting would be a piece of cake. My Mom knit all the time and it seemed like no biggie. Until it was. She had to fix my bazillion mistakes. I'm certain she pondered adoption. I sometimes found myself sitting on the church doorstep wondering how I got there. Mom?!
Enough about my childhood knitting abuse.
Ready to get your knit on?
SUPPLIES NEEDED:
Size 50 (25 mm) circular knitting needles8 skeins of this merino wool
scissors
*love*
PS. You'll love the birch circular needles. LOVE. I package them up... from me, to you and write a note to you too. I just love ya like that.
BLANKET PATTERN
This chunky wool blanket pattern is super duper fraligisticextipilaoidous easy. Sort of. It's not as easy as this blanket pattern <- another blog post with an amazing knit blanket pattern... but it is pretty dang close. It's straight, good old-fashioned knitting and purling, with a wee border around it. Once you learn how to do two stitches, two TWO, twoooooooo, it's easy sailing from there.
Knit.
Purl.
Rinse.
Repeat.
The purty pattern is right here for you, ya dang hippie. Check yo' email. The pattern will be there waiting for you.
Merino Wool
I knit this blanket using soft merino wool from my fave seller on Etsy. It's a gorgeous lightly spun super soft wool, bundled in GINORMOUS skeins. Ps. That means fewer joins in your blanket.
Psssst.... you get 10% off if you use the coupon code LYNNE at checkout.
Woot!
{AKA earrings for the home}
Tassels? Who said tassels?! <- I hollered that. Tassels are extra va-vroom. Because hey, we are modern gals. We like our va-vroom-vroom.
TASSELS.Are.So. Freaking. Pretty !!!! Sorry to yell.
I invented my own tassels because I hate it when people steal my ideas before I think of them. What the what what? I dunno what I just said. Either way.. the tassel HOW-TO will follow later, in another blog post. I'll teach it to you the easy way.
My Mom forced me into learning how to make tassels while I was holding my baby bottle. I think we should call child services.
{ lynneknowlton }
Wait. Before you go, can we just talk about snapchat for a sec? My kids taught me how to snap. Like I didn't know how to do that already. Snap? Snap!? No problem. Leave your dirty clothes on the floor. I'll snap. Watch me SNAP. Okay, I'll shut up now.
I resisted snapchat for so long. Truth is, I freaking love it! Be-Tee-Dubs, the quality is crap. The filters suck. It's so basic on all levels of basic-ness. That's why I love it. Get your kids to teach you. Then come and find me. I'm at lynneknowlton. I know, original, right?
Now that I've figured out what to do in snapchat, I have to figure out what to do with my life. I'm thinking ruby red lipstick.
Happy Easter weekend. Think of me, while I'm roasting a weenie over my wood stove. I'm in the thick of kitchen renovations. It's a total shit show. I'm in the ....dust (see it on instagram) Straight up. Keep it coming... mode.
Until further notice, let's just celebrate everything....
